


a little bit youthful

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Awkward Flirting, Bottom!Tyler, Child Abuse, Consensual Underage Sex, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, Hurt Tyler, Issues with Eating, M/M, Mental Instability, OC-Characters - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Protective Josh, Self Harm, Top!Josh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8523361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler Joseph is a mess. He doesn’t like to go home because ever since his siblings moved out of the house, his stepdad’s drinking problem has gotten progressively worse as his mom spends more time cultivating her affair than controlling the man she married. And so he spends most of his time wandering around the city and crossing off the days on his calendar as he counts down to the day he’ll be 18 and leave forever. But when he one day meets a stranger with a taste for music and pastel blue hair, Tyler finds Columbus becoming a bit more tolerable.





	1. The Run and Go

Tyler’s stepdad was furious and Tyler couldn’t breathe. Standing up from where he had been crouched in the back of his closet, his knees unfolding and his back cracking uncomfortably as he stood up. His head was pounding from when his stepdad had shoved him forward into the wall when he had been shrieking at him earlier. 

 

Tyler couldn’t remember what his stepdad had been angry about this time, he knew it had to do with Tyler loitering around the living room when his stepdad had wanted the T.V. but honestly he thought that might have been the cause of yesterday's outburst. The days had started to blur together so badly, and Tyler almost wished he wasn’t homeschooled because anything (even an 8 hour school day) might help him remember how many days had gone by. All he knew was that it was early November which meant he only had a month until he turned 18 and could leave without his stepdad calling the cops like he had last time Tyler had fled, before beating on him so hard he had to nurse two broken ribs and a concussion for six months. 

 

He hadn’t left the house in the past three days, partially because his step dad had thrown out all of his winter clothing earlier in the week to make room for his own things and Tyler didn't want to face the Ohio winter in only a flannel and partially because his own thoughts made his head pound. But when he heard the front door slam open and his stepfather’s low growl yell out, “Tyler Robert Joseph! You get your ass down here now!” Tyler decided he’d risk the cold. 

 

His clock told him it was only two in the afternoon (not the middle of the night as Tyler had thought it was) and after grabbing a sweatshirt to pull over his skinny arms, Tyler yanked open his window and climbed out onto the front yard. He knew avoiding his step dad would only make it worse when he eventually came home but Tyler just entertained the hope that the older man would pass out early that night and forget about whatever he had been angry about. 

 

He had never forgotten anything before but Tyler hoped today would be different. 

 

He wandered around the neighborhood for awhile until one of his neighbors (an elderly woman with long sharp nails and a similarly sharp glare) yelled at him for loitering and doing the drugs everyone thought he did. Tyler didn’t smoke or drink like everyone in the neighborhood thought that he did. He’d only ever drunk once it had been two years ago when his mom had snapped at his stepfather and sotrmed out, not coming back for three days, and Tyler thought chugging half a bottle down would make him pass out and escape the feeling of the broken glass lodged in his head from his step dad’s beer bottle. It hadn’t and the only thing Tyler learned from that experience was that being hungover was horrible, that he hated his mother, and that he was a great liar especially to overworked social workers who just wrote him off as another dead beat kid who go in fights. 

 

At the woman’s words Tyler pulled his hood even lower over his eyes and spent the next few hours walking the trails in the woods behind his neighborhood. The sun began setting and Tyler could feel the cold beginning to seep past his clothing and start to numb his skin. He’d lost feeling in his hands and feet hours ago but Tyler began to feel truly uncomfortable when his nose started to tingle and his cheeks burned despite the fact that he knew it was 20 degrees outside. They hadn’t had there first snow yet but Tyler had no doubt in his mind that if it would start raining it would turn to snow. 

 

After another hour --during which he had tripped into a puddle of murky water and soaked his shoes, pants, and the sleeves of his sweatshirt-- Tyler finally convinced himself to go home. 

 

He thought, for a moment, about going over to his friend Mark’s house but then he remembered Mark’s girlfriend was crashing at his place for the week and he didn't want to see anyone new. New people always made his skin crawl and forced the nervous habits Tyler tried to keep in check wash over him in a thick and suffocating wave of anxiety. 

 

Tyler would take a broken nose over another panic attack. 

 

It took him another hour to find his way home in the freezing and darkened streets, and by the time Tyler was pushing his way through the back door he knew it had to be close to midnight. He just hoped his stepdad had drunk enough to knock him out because Tyler knew his mom wouldn’t be home for another two days from her ‘business trip’ and his stepdad was always louder when she was away. 

 

The house was quiet except for the static white noise of some recorded sports game playing quietly in the living room and, for a moment, Tyler allowed himself to believe his step dad truly had passed out and he could sleep a normal night without pain. 

 

“Where the hell have you been?” Slurred words cut off his thoughts and Tyler suddenly became very aware of the reek of whiskey behind him and turned around to see his stepfather looming over him sneering as he waited for Tyler to respond. 

 

“O-out I just… I donk’t k-know, I...I was-” 

 

“You were just nothing!” His step dad yelled and slapped Tyler across the face sharply and Tyler didn't even allow himself to cry out because he knew it only made it worse, “Did you take money out of my fucking wallet!?” Tyler froze as his mind went back to a few days prior when his stepdad had forgotten to buy food from the grocery store yet again and the only thing in their fridge was beer. At that point (having gone three days only sipping on some cold water and eating a few mints he’d taken from a diner) Tyler had been almost delirious from hunger and had snatched a fiver from his step dad's wallet without any thought. It hadn’t gotten him much from the gas station but it had been enough to let Tyler sleep through the night instead of waking up and crying from the way his stomach twisted and cramped from hunger. “Well did you?” His step dad demanded again and Tyler could barely register his nodding until he heard his step dad yell and shove him hard into the wall behind him. 

 

His head hit the wall with a resounding crack and Tyler couldn’t help but groan as his vision swirled all around him and his headache returned in twofold. Tyler slipped down to the floor, counting the kicks his stepdad aimed onto his chest and legs. 

 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9-

 

Pausing before aiming a sharp kick right into the soft spot of Tyler’s lower stomach, his step father yelling down to him, “Worthless peice of shit! I work hard everyday for that money and you think you can just steal from me? No fucking respect, well I’ll teach you some!” It was the yelling Tyler hated the most, because he could tune his body away from the physical pain but he could never shut his mind off from repeating his step dad’s insults in the middle of the night. 

 

Minutes passed and Tyler felt like he was floating, surrounded by yelling and the pain in his head from hitting it against the floor when he fell, and he wondered for a brief moment if the neighbors could hear his step dad's shouting. Suddenly something wet landed on his cheek and Tyler lay still as his step father muttered something before staggering away and back into the living room. Wiping the spit off of his cheek, Tyler pushed himself off of the floor and stood --swaying for a moment as his vision blurred-- before steadying himself on the wall and scampering back to his room where he fell onto his bed and collapsed instantly into a black, dreamless sleep. 

 

The last thought that passed his mind was the circled date on his calendar -- December 1rst-- and the idea of leaving the house. 

 

~~^^~~

 

When Tyler woke up, this time laying on his bed instead on curled into the back of the closet as he had been yesterday in an attempt to hide his bruised and broken body from his stepfather’s rampage, his head was pounding even worse than it had been before but his chest was no longer constricted in fear. The house was quiet. Which meant his stepdad had already left and Tyler slumped back onto his bed in relief before bringing a hand up to rub over his face. His ribs protested slightly at the movement but Tyler knew the dull ache instead of sharp pain meant his stepfather had only bruised and not broken them. 

 

His nose felt stuffy and Tyler’s lips were dry and chapped so he knew he had gotten himself sick walking around all day yesterday. He --begrudgingly-- pulled himself off the bed and towards the bathroom and, after peeling off his clothing and starting the water, he turned towards the mirror and gazed at the reflection that stared right back at him. His eyes were puffed up and lined with dark circles, his skin was unusually paled (whether it was because of a lack of sleep or sickness Tyler didn’t know), and multi-colored bruises as well as now scabbed over cuts decorated his skin. Tyler looked down at his legs and saw the dark purple marks from his step dad last night, but he still had yellowing and greeish marks over his chest from last week. 

 

Tyler stepped under the water and let the heat burn his pale skin to a warm pinkish color before pulling himself out of the steam filled bathroom and checking his phone to see a message from Mark. 

 

hey ty.  
annie left yesterday if you wanna hang over here, store’s closed today. 

 

Tyler smiled at the message --the action pulled at his cheeks and made his skin hurt-- because he knew Mark telling him Annie had left was his way of telling Tyler it was safe for him to come back over. Tyler had never told anyone about how bad his step dad got, or about how sometimes late at night Tyler though the voices he could hear inside his own mind were worse, but he knew that Mark had an idea. He’d never tried to hide the bruises and Mark wasn’t blind, but Tyler doubted even Mark knew how bad it was. 

 

But Tyler still appreciated his friends invite and he redressed quickly because he knew it would take him close to an hour to walk into the main part of the city where Mark lived (his bss card had been empty for months and he didn't dare ask his (parents for more money). Mark owned a music shop in the city and whenever Tyler went down there he would play the piano or listen to Mrk tak music with the customers for hours. 

 

It was one of the few things --besides write out his thoughts and lyrics in his journals-- that Tyler truly enjoyed. 

 

The walk to Mark’s place was long and cold, Tyler kept his hands stuffed into his jean pockets and hood pulled tight over his head avoiding the gaze of anyone who walked by and by the time he got to Mark’s place his face was flushed from the cold and his hands were numb once again. But Tyler didn't mind that so much, because it made his bruises and headaches go away. 

 

“That cold outside?” Mark said when he opened the door for Tyler, who only nodded and response and slipped inside behind Mark who began telling him all about the time he’d spent with Annie over the past few days. Tyler listened quietly, content just to let Mark do the talking as he attempted to bring life back into his hands. 

 

Mark made them both lunch --Tyler didn't tell him it was the first real meal he’d had in a week but by the way Mark piled the food higher onto Tyler’s than his own, the younger boy was sure his friend could gage how Tyler’s frame had grown smaller even under his bulky sweatshirt and jeans. 

 

They ate and talked for a while longer, Tyler finally joining in on the conversation when Mark began telling him about the new band he’d discovered and offering to let Tyler come down to the store the next day to listen to their album. As the morning turned into late afternoon and early evening Tyler found that his hands were back to normal and that he was smiling without it hurting. 

 

Suddenly a knock rang out through the apartment and Tyler froze as Mark went over to answer it. Curling himself into the far corner of the couch, slouching down as he did so, Tyler peered slightly across the room to where Mark stood talking and laughing with someone at the door. Mark turned away from the door and the stranger stepped forward as well, as Mark said, “Tyler this is my friend Josh, he’s the guy who’s been helping me at the shop.” Tyler barely heard what Mark was saying due to the fact that he could hear his pulse in his years and his breathing had hitched in his throat leaving him breathless and flushed. 

 

The man standing behind Mark was probably the most beautiful man Tyler had ever seen. Pastel blue hair, a practically fluorescent and rainbow tattoo sleeve decorating his muscular arm, drumsticks tucked into the back pocket of his jeans, and a warm and welcoming smile painted across his face. 

 

Tyler could feel his heartbeat speed up as the stranger --Josh-- step forward and offer him a hello alongside a smile brighter than anything Tyler had ever seen. 

“Tyler? Are you feeling okay, you’re face just got all red and-” 

 

At hearing Mark’s words Tyler suddenly felt immensely embarrassed about his obvious attraction to Mark’s friend and all but jumped off the couch and saying “I have to go” before darting out of the apartment and back into the cold night that whipped all around him as he hurried home still huddled under his thin sweatshirt. 

 

~~^^~~

 

“Is that the kid you were telling me about?” Josh asked, handing Mark the box of albums he had come over to drop off as he watched the small form of the ‘kid’ hurry away from the window. 

 

“Yeah that’s Tyler. He’s a sweet kid but he’s got...uh,” Mark placed the box down onto his counter and sighed, running a hand through his hair as he explained, “He’s got a lot going on at home.” 

 

“Don’t we all?” Josh muttered under his breath, not grasping the depth of the issues Mark had hinted at as he shrugged his coat back on, but he couldn't shake the image of those shocked beautiful brown eyes staring back at him when he had smiled and offered his name. 

 

“And he’s underage!” 

 

Mark called from the other room where he had hauled the box of albums and Josh shook his head, laughing as he yelled back, “Not why I asked!” But he knew that wasn't the full truth and Josh couldn't help but find himself hoping he’d see more of that skinny brown eyed boy. 

 

He was sure he would. 

 

~~^^~~

 

At home Tyler’s mouth was bleeding --his blood still staining his stepfather’s knuckles-- and he crossed off another day on his calendar before laying down at his bed and staring out the window while he let his mind dream about Josh’s eyes and smile. 

 

30 more days until he could leave. 

 

30 more days until he could fall in love with Josh. 

 

Tyler fell asleep cold and numb from the air outside but warm and giddy inside due to the swirl of smiles and rainbow tattoos his mind supplied him with.


	2. Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's a mess but Josh likes that.

Turning onto his side, Tyler blinked once and stared at his blank phone screen for the tenth time in the past five minutes. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for --or rather who he was waiting for-- but he couldn’t stop staring at the almost blinding screen of his phone. The clock read 3:34 AM but Tyler didn’t feel tired at all. His lip had stopped bleeding a few hours ago but Tyler could still feel the dull ache in his jaw every time he moved his mouth. 

 

He tossed his phone to the side and sighed, before pulling himself out of bed and yanking on another sweatshirt as he slipped out of his window and into the night. 

 

After spending another half an hour wandering around the early morning streets, Tyler found himself subconsciously walking towards Mark’s apartment when he stopped suddenly on the sidewalk. He couldn’t go to Mark’s house this late at night, Tyler didn’t think he’d be able to face Mark’s questions and concerns about why he was there and what the hell was wrong with his face and hands. Digging the heel of his hands into his eyes in attempt to push back the tears he didn't realize he was holding back, Tyler slumped down to sit on the curb and was about to let go of the emotions he was holding back when he suddenly heard a voice behind him. 

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Tyler jolted forward and twisted around to see the same pale blue hair and inviting smile he had seen at Mark’s place days earlier. Josh was dressed in all black, blending him into the night around them and covering his tattoo sleeve much to Tyler’s disappointment. 

 

“Y-yeah I’m...okay.” Tyler said and he cringed at how pathetic his voice sounded, he didn't realize how cold he was but when his words came out stuttered through his shivering Tyler finally noticed. 

 

“What’re you doing all the way out here by yourself?” Josh asked, moving to sit next to Tyler, who unconsciously shifted a few inches away as the older man got near to him, “Shouldn’t you be at home, and-” At the look that must’ve crossed over Tyler’s face when Josh mentioned his home, the older man cut himself off and asked, his voice quieter and much more sincere as he asked, “Bad times at home?” 

 

Tyler could do nothing but nod at Josh’s words, his face heating up slightly at the attention he wasn't use to receiving. Mark wasn’t oblivious to Tyler’s unhappiness, but Tyler never went to his house when his face was a mess and Mark never questioned him about why he would stay over for hours at a time. And so Josh’s blatant concern for him was making Tyler severely uncomfortable, he barely cared enough to worry about himself and so Tyler could barely comprehend why Josh would be so worried about him. 

 

Looking up, Tyler saw Josh looking at him expectantly as if he was waiting for the younger boy to answer a question and Tyler asked, “What?” 

 

“I asked if you wanted to come back to my place? Crash there for the night.” At Tyler’s silence (because the young boy’s brain could hardly catch up to the idea of staying at Josh’s house, a man he’d just meet and was already falling so hard for) Josh scratched at the back of his head and laughed awkwardly as he offered, “Or I could give Mark a call to come get you? I’m sure he’s still awake, because we’re still practically strangers and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything and-”

 

“No, I’d...I’d like that. To go with you.” Tyler muttered, uncurling himself from where he had been hunched over his knees as he cut Josh’s rambling off, surprisingly himself with his boldness (but hey love makes people do crazy things). 

 

“Okay. Okay great.” Josh said, knowing he was smiling too much as he stood up and offered a hand down to Tyler who was still seated on the curb, “That’s great.” Tyler reached up and grasped the hand Josh offered him, his breath catching in his throat as Josh’s warm hand grasped his own and lifted him up with ease, but his bliss was short lived when Josh released his hand and Tyler found his vision blurring as he swayed. 

 

As they stood, the streetlight finally reached them and Josh found himself able to fully look at Tyler’s face and he gasped --unable to hold back his shock-- when he saw the younger boys face. 

 

“Oh my god, Tyler your lip.” 

 

Josh’s voice sounded far away and faded but Tyler knew he must’ve seen his face --his lip was still busted and swollen horribly and Tyler was sure the left side of his face was bruised as well-- and he felt horribly embarrassed for a moment, before his vision turned black and tyler found himself slipping backwards just as he heard Josh yell out again. 

 

‘Looks like you botched this up too Tyler.’ He thought, before he passed out onto the sidewalk. 

 

~~^^~~

 

“...no Mark, I already told you, I don't know what the fuck happened. I was walking back from rehearsal and I saw him sitting by the side of the road and- I don't know why he was fucking there can you please just let me finish, jesus,...” Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Tyler groaned out quietly as he pushed himself up into a seated position --confused as to why he was laying on something soft and not the cold sidewalk and why he heard someone’s voice around him-- and rubbed at his eyes. “Hold on, I think he’s awake. Lemme call you back Mark.” Tyler’s head began pounding as he opened his eyes, light flooding them instantly, and he suddenly noticed Josh leaning in front of him with concern in his eyes as he asked, “Tyler? Are you alright?” 

 

“What am I doin’ here?” Tyler asked, his words slurring slightly with lingering sleep. He sat up fully, glancing around at a well furnished --but messy-- apartment before down at himself to see that he was laying on a couch covered with a blanket not his own. Josh must've brought him back to his apartment, Tyler thought, and he began moving to stand up; worried that he had already overstayed his welcome. 

 

“Whoa, whoa take it easy Ty, you’re at my place.” Josh explained, sitting down on the couch next to Tyler who hugged the blanket up against his chest, “You passed out back there on the road and I… I didn’t know where else to take you.” 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was still that bad.” Tyler muttered, face flushing slightly at the nickname Josh called him but he thought it might’ve been because of how warm he was sitting under the blanket. 

 

“Tyler, is someone hurting you at home?” Josh asked, his bluntness shocking Tyler who froze at the question he was so desperate to hear. 

 

“My step dad yells sometimes but…but it’s not...” Tyler couldn't say anything more, his chest pounding as a panic began to set in at thoughts of his stepdads fists and screams. 

 

“Does he hurt you? Ty, why do you stay with him! You need to call the police if he’s doing something to you like this!” As Josh’s voice got louder Tyler curled further into himself, his heart racing even faster as his mind began screaming at him.

 

‘My fault my fault, he’s right it’s all my fault. Stupid. Idiot, Tyler.’ His mind screamed at him and Tyler could feel himself getting overwhelmed with panicked adrenaline pumping through his veins. “I’m not 18 yet, he’ll call the police to get me again.” Tyler whispered, knees pulled tight against his chest as he dug his nails into his wrist in attempt to center his mind and calm himself down. 

 

“Tyler, Tyler! It’s okay, I’m sorry I shouldn't have pried. It’s okay, you’re safe here, you don’t have to tell me anything.” Josh exclaimed, reaching forward towards Tyler but catching himself halfway so not to scare the other boy anymore than he already had. 

 

Tyler wished Josh would hold him, slow Tyler’s racing heart so he could steady his breathing and pull his thoughts away from his stepfather’s yelling. But instead he wrapped his arms tightly around himself and shook his head saying, “It’s okay.” 

 

Josh didn't look convinced, but he accepted Tyler’s deflection away from the panic attack he was currently having and said, “Alright, let’s just go to sleep. I’ll take you out to breakfast and we can…. And we can talk, if you want. Or I can call someone for you.” Tyler nodded, wanting to ask Josh to stay next to him but unable to muster the courage to say anything in response. 

 

Waiting another second, Josh patted Tyler’s leg before saying, “My room’s down the hall, shout if you need anything.” Tyler nodded again, knowing he wouldn't dare wake Josh up (he’d woken his stepfather up once by accident when he dropped a cup due to his shaking hands, and it had left him with a black eye and sprained wrist) but not wanting to worry the older man anymore than he already had. 

 

He watched as Josh walked down the hall and into his room, leaving him laying in the dimly lit room on a couch that smelled like Josh’s cologne, and Tyler wondered what time it was before slipping back into sleep as he pressed his face into the couch. 

 

~~^^~~ 

 

When Josh woke up, his clock informed him it was nearing 11am, he walked into his living room to see Tyler still curled on his couch and Josh wondered when his life had gotten so weird. 

 

He had been walking home from a ‘band rehearsal’ (he didn't want to call it a true rehearsal, because they’d all only spent about three hours talking about women and messing around with some shitty lyrics instead of actually creating the music Josh wanted too) when he’d come across Tyler sitting on the side of the road. At first he’d thought the kid was drunk --or high. But when he realized he wasn’t Josh couldn't deny the inner desire to bring him back to his apartment, but any fantasies he’d had, had vanished once he’d seen the state of Tyler’s face and watched the young man pass out in the middle of the street. 

 

Watching Tyler’s panic attack earlier that same morning had only made his concern deepen further than it already was and Josh didn't know what he was supposed to do. He was used to loving girls his own age, not broken boys he’d picked up at the side of the road and who were currently sleeping on his couch. 

 

He pulled a red bull out of the fridge, tossing back the much needed caffeine after the long night he’d had as he wondered what exactly he was supposed to say when Tyler woke up. 

 

His worry was cut short -however- when he heard a quiet cough and turned towards his living room to see Tyler sitting bleary eyed on his couch, his short brown hair sticking straight up and the dark circles under his eyes lessened slightly. 

 

“Uh sorry, I don't usually sleep this late.” Tyler said, once he realized Josh was unabashedly staring at him from across the room, standing up and running a hand through his wild hair before saying, “Thanks for last night, sorry for… for being such a mess.” 

 

“No worries, happens to the best of us.” Josh said, still unsure exactly how he was supposed to behave in this situation but attempting to come across as reassuring and pleasant throughout the exchange, “Can I get you something to eat?” 

 

“No, that’s okay. I’m not hungry” Tyler said, his answer partially true because although he hadn't eaten anything in 24 hour his stomach was still churning and nausea from his panic attack last night, and he’d already been at Josh’s house for too long and he didn’t want to ruin the friendship he hoped had been created anymore than he already had. 

 

“Okay, you have a bus card to get home? I could give you a ride if you need one..” Josh asked, trailing off when Tyler nodded at is question, before asking, “You got a heavier winter coat at home Ty? It’s supposed to be in the 30s today and you’re in a sweatshirt.” At this question Tyler didn't even bothering lying, and Josh waited a moment before venturing and saying, “I think I have a spare coat laying around in my closet, lemme see if I can find it for you.” He wasn't sure if Tyler would accept his charity but, hey, it was worth a try. It took him a few minutes, time which Tyler spent awkwardly standing in the middle of Josh’s living room trying not to stare as he looked at his bookcase and pictures, but Josh eventually found his coat from last year shoved in the back of his closet.  
He walked back to the living room and tossed the coat to Tyler saying, “It's a bit old but I was planning on throwing it out anyways so..” Tyler said nothing but Josh took his putting the coat on --it’s sleeves going inches past Tyler’s pale hands-- as his acceptance. “So I’ll see you around then?” Josh asked, cringing at how young he sounded god was he still a pinning teenager. 

 

Tyler couldn’t help but smile at Josh’s concern and he nodded saying, “Yeah, see you around. Thanks again.” 

 

“Don’t mention it.” Josh said but Tyler was already slipping out of his apartment and into the late morning air, and the older man couldn't help but puff his chest and smile at the satisfaction he’d received at seeing Tyler in his clothing. 

 

God, he was falling hard. 

 

~~^^~~

 

It took Tyler much longer than usual to walk home, despite the fact that he was much warmer than usual thanks to Josh’s coat, and when he finally returned home he slipped in the back door like normal and held his breath in fear when he heard someone in the kitchen. He didn’t think he could face his stead so soon after last night’s outburst. Walking into the kitchen, Tyler froze when he saw who stood there. 

 

“Momma?” Tyler asked, shocked to see his mother standing --recently showered and put together-- in the middle of the kitchen as she put groceries into the previously empty fridge. 

 

“Oh! Hello Tyler, did you and Frank have a nice boys weekend?” She asked, blatantly ignoring her son’s bruised face and swollen lip (her strategy to dealing with her new husbands outburst on Tyler to ignore them and the effect they had on Tyler rather than admit to herself she had brought a monster into their home). She didn’t wait for Tyler to respond, going on to say, “Honey why don't you have something to eat with Frank and I? We're just about to watch the game.” 

 

“No thanks.” Tyler forced out, moving to the stairs quickly to avoid seeing his stepfather and getting roped into spending a tense two hours in the same room as both of his parents. 

 

“Tyler, whose jacket is that?” Tyler glanced over to see his stepfather walk into the kitchen, looking far more sober than he had in the past few day, but tyler wasn’t taking any chances and he answered his mom saying, “A friends,” before scampering up the stairs and into his room. 

 

He reached his room without incident, and collapsed onto his bed after kicking his shoes off (not even bothering to check his calendar) as he breathed in the comforting scent of Josh his new jacket provided him. Before reaching over to his bedside table where his prized journal sat and scribbling words down madly onto its pages for the next few peaceful hours. 

 

He hardly realized it, but every song lyric bit of prose he wrote was about Josh.


	3. Lane Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music brings people together...and helps get you a cute boys number.

The next day Tyler spent the entire morning reading over the lyrics he had written last night and avoiding his mom. He was happy she was home, but in all honestly Tyler couldn't find it in himself to face the women who'd abandoned him yet again with his stepfather. The swelling in his lip had finally gone down to a point that Tyler could open his mouth without cringing at it pulled at the dried blood crusted onto his lips. All morning his parents sat down stairs --Tyler didn't bother to venture down to see what they we're doing because as long as he didn't hear shouting it honestly didn't matter--but as the clock neared 2pm Tyler began to find himself going more and more anxious as he stayed inside. He wanted to go outside and walk, although Tyler also knew that he wanted to risk seeing Josh walking around the city. 

 

Pulling himself off the bed, wincing at the dried blood that decorated his sheet, Tyler grabbed a new pair of pants off the floor as he ran a hand through his hair. He still had Josh's jacket pulled tight around him and Tyler couldn't help but smile as Josh's scent and warmth encased him. He hated taking charity, never letting Mark give him anything more than a casual friend would, but for some reason the idea of denying Josh's gift hadn't even crossed his mind. 

 

And Tyler couldn't figure out why. 

 

As he walked, kicking a pine cone along the sidewalk as he shuffled along, Tyler thought back to earlier that night and there was one thing his mind couldn't figure out (besides the obvious of why on earth Josh would’ve let him stay over); why was Josh out that late? 

 

Tyler rarely saw anyone besides himself and a few homeless people milling around the city once the clock got past 2 in the morning, and he was pretty sure Josh wasn’t homeless. Pretty sure. 

 

He made his way down to Mark’s music store, hands twitching in anticipation of pressing down on the keys of his favorite demo keyboard that Mark always left out for him to play. His stepdad always hated hearing music in the house --his mother only ever played gospel or christian rock when she was home to to Tyler those were worse than no music at all-- and so Tyler kept his ukulele stashed in the back of the closet only ever taking it out when his stepdad went out for the day or when he was so drunk he was deaf to the rest of the world.

 

“Tyler!” The bell on the door sounded his entrance, and Tyler smiled as Mark --turning away from the customers he had been helping-- grinned and called out his name in greeting, “Keyboards all set up, serenade us!” Laughing quietly, Tyler moved away from the uncomfortable stares of the patrons filling up the store and towards the back of the store where Mark kept a few of the demo instruments set up to collect dust except for when Tyler played them. The keyboard was a horrible, electric, and decades old thing but Tyler loved it just the same because it sounded fine alongside his hushed singing and let him release some of the stress he let constantly build up in his mind.

 

The first few notes sounded out clearly to Tyler’s waiting ears and he couldn’t but grin at it as he took a seat behind the keyboard and began running through a few radio melodies and show tunes he had memorized. It wasn’t until his fingers began to feel loose and Tyler was able to completely block out the people around him in the store, that Tyler was able to start playing a few of his own songs and humming out his lyrics. He found himself quickly zoning out and becoming completely absorbed in his music, fingers flying across the keys as his voice grew a bit louder and more confident with each passing minute. 

 

“You’re pretty good on that thing, did you take lessons?” Tyler jolted out of his music induced haze and yanked his hands away from the keys as he stood up, coming face to face with the face he dreamt about. “Whoa, sorry Tyler I didn’t mean to scare you,” Josh said, holding his hands up in attempt to ease Tyer’s skittishness, “you just sounded nice, you’re singing and everything.” 

 

“No, I haven’t.” Tyler blurted out, shoving his hands into his pockets as he answered Josh’s earlier question. His parents thought music was a waste of time, the only extracurricular activity his mom had every supported had been basketball but he had quit that two years ago and her disappointment still stung. Tyler wasn’t even sure if she knew he played music, much less how much he enjoyed it. 

 

“Wow really? Shit Tyler you taught yourself?” Josh asked, flabbergasted at how impressive the younger boys skills were despite the fact he’d had no outside help. 

 

“Wrote the lyrics myself too,” Tyler offered, Josh’s praise making him giddy and open to sharing the music he had kept personal (except to Mark) for years. 

 

“Really?” Josh said, completely incredulous because the depth and emotion he’d gathered from the few verses he’d heard pour out from Tyler’s lips had been so raw he’d never expected them to come from someone as young as Tyler. 

 

“You play drums?” Tyler asked, pointing at the drumsticks Josh held forgotten in his hands, and he almost couldn't believe how direct his questions were. People always made Tyler nervous if he didn't know them well enough, and years upon years of his step father’s abuse due to his talking had practically left Tyler mute around others, always worried he’d trip up and say something wrong even if he wanted to strike up a conversation. But Josh’s warm smile and enthusiasm urged him forward in the conversation. 

 

“Yeah I do, played for a few years now but I had lessons to get me where I am now.” Josh said, grin widening as Tyler actively participated in the conversation. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind, a way for him to express himself as he always did as well as get closer to Tyler, and Josh said, “You should play with us sometime, us being me and Kevin and Chase. You meet them yet?” When Tyler shook his head, Josh shrugged and scratched at his neck with his drumsticks, explaining, “They’re some friends from college, we had a band going for a while but it died off around last year. Now we just mess around my place and play shit. You should come sometime, play more of your song for me.” 

 

Tyler felt his face flush slightly because he wasn’t exactly sure what Josh was asking him. A date? He wasn’t sure, but he answered anyways saying, “Maybe, my stuff isn’t that great though…” 

 

As he trailed off, Josh shook his head and said, “Sounded pretty good to me, but maybe you can just come and give us a listen? Always good to have other people of high musical taste in the group.” 

 

He winked at Tyler, who laughed in response and nodded his head, saying, “Alright.” 

 

Josh glanced around the music store, before turning back to Tyler and saying, “You know I was just about to head over there, you wanna come with? Maybe grab some lunch before?” At this offer Tyler knew he was red because even if it wasn’t a date he was damn well going to feel as nervous as he would’ve on a first date to sit in a car alone with Josh and listen in to his band practice. His heart was already racing but Tyler knew with his mom whom he had plenty of time to kill and no worry about returning to the house in the middle of the night (she annoyed Frank enough to get him drunk enough to pass out and she herself was far to distracted with her own life to worry about Tyler). He had nothing to lose in going, and Josh’s smiling eyes urged him toward saying yes. 

 

“Yeah, yeah sure I’ll come.” 

 

~~^^~~

 

Josh was ecstatic. 

 

Tyler was sitting next to him in the car, talking animatedly about Mark’s store and some story involving him and knocking over a demo keyboard, but Josh was barely able to focus on the younger boy’s words due to the fact that he couldn’t pull his attention away from Tyler's face. They’d gone to a Taco Bell drive thru for lunch --Tyler had gotten all flustered and a lovely shade of pink when Josh had insisted on paying-- and had spent the last ten minutes driving over to Josh’s apartment where the rest of the group was waiting. But Josh had to constantly remind himself to focus on the road and not Tyler’s fluttering hands or smile as he spoke. 

 

“We’re here,” Josh said, turning off the car and exiting the and into the brisk November night. As he lead Tyler up to his apartment --he could already hear the other guys messing with his drumset inside-- and Josh couldn’t help but glance at the younger boy out of the corner of his eyes. He’d be lying if he said that seeing Tyler in his clothing didn’t make his heart swell. Although it did worry him slightly as to why Tyler didn’t already have a jacket (he was pretty sure Tyler had lived in Columbus during winter before), however he knew right now wasn’t the right time to question Tyler about his home life. 

 

“Ey! Joshua finally decides to show his face!” Kevin called out, Chase turning his attention away from banging horribly on Josh's snare drum in order to yell at him as well. 

 

“You bring us food Dun?” 

 

“Of course,” Josh said, rolling his eyes at his friends antics as he raised up the bag of Taco Bell he had, before placing his free hand on Tyler’s shoulder and saying, “This is Tyler, Ty that’s Kevin and the guy harassing my drum kit is Chase.” 

 

“And I’m Eve.” Reaching past Josh and snatching the bag out of his hands, a curly haired girl smiled over at Tyler who smiled weakly back at her, before playfully glaring at Josh as she said, “But apparently that’s not important.” 

 

“Yet you still take my food,” Josh said, laughing as Eve nodded in response, before leaning down towards Tyler to say, “She’s Chase’s girlfriend.” Tyler nodded, unable to find the rods to response because although he was happy Josh wanted to hang out with him. Being surrounded with all of his outgoing and exuberant friends was overwhelming, and Tyler cursed himself slightly for making what should have been a fun gathering into something scary and serious.

 

Josh moved forward into the living room and Tyler, being led by Eve, followed behind him and parked himself on Josh’s well-worn in couch as he listened to the conversation all around him. 

 

Over the next few hours he learned all about how Eve and Chase were the type of couple who’d banter with one another to a point where Tyler was sure a full blown argument would break out all while holding hands and sharing kisses, that Kevin’s idea of ‘true music’ was loud and fast (demonstrated by how whenever it was his turn to play he would slam down on the drums or guitar), and that Josh emitted way too much body heat. Josh had taken a seat next to Tyler instantly and Tyler was almost sweating after an hour of sitting next to him, his warmth upsetting the usual freezing temperature of Tyler’s skin. 

 

“Tyler? Would you be into that?” 

 

“What?” Tyler asked, jerking himself out of his thoughts as he attempted to remember whatever question Josh had just asked him. 

 

“I asked if you wanted to play more of that song I heard at Mark’s store?” 

 

At Josh’s words Tyler felt his throat tighten up --completely removing any feeling of relaxation he had gained through sitting around Josh’s comfortable company-- and he glanced around at the expectant faces of all Josh's friends before jolting up and blurting out, “I need to grab a drink.”  
He left the room in a hurry. Leaving behind Josh’s shocked expression as he made hi way into the kitchen where he let out a sigh of annoyance. 

 

‘God, I can't not fuck one thing up?’ Tyler thought, pressing the heel of his hand into his forehead as the embarrassment of what he had just done rushed over him. He pulled off his sweatshirt --it was far too hot in the apartment anyways-- and leaned back against cool counter, closing his eyes as he did so. 

 

“Tyler?” Cracking one eye open, Tyler watched as Josh entered the kitchen, shutting the door after him, as he sheepishly said, “The others started a game of Cards Against Humanity, thought I’d take a break from that madness and see if you were okay.” 

 

“I’m fine.” Tyler said, scoffing slightly to himself because Jesus fucking christ Josh couldn't be nicer if he tried and Tyler didn't deserve that shit. He turned his back on Tyler, turning on the tap and thrusting a glass into the water as he said, “I really shouldn’t have come here, I just fuck stuff like this up and I already ruined your night.” He paused, taking a sip[ of the water before putting the glass down, a bit harder than he needed to, and adding, “Thanks for inviting me over here, but I think I’m going to go.” Josh shook his head, opening his mouth to argue with Tyler because the younger man was msot certianly not fuckign naything up, but he stopped when he saw the large bruise stamped onto Tyler’s bicep and the small circles burnt along his tan arm. 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay to go home?” Josh asked, his voice quiet and when Tyler visibly tensed at his words, he hastily added, “Because it’s really not that much of a hassle if you wanna stay another night here, I can kick Kevin out once he gets-”

 

“I don’t need your charity.” Tyler snapped, noticing how Josh’s eyes travelled down to his scarred arm and quickly yanking his sweatshirt back on, before sighing and saying, “I’m...I’m sorry. I’m tired. But really it's okay, I can look after myself.” Josh didn’t look convinced, but nodded and Tyler took that at his cue to leave. However, he found himself unable to walk any further since Josh’s hand had reached out and grabbed his wrist (holding him so tenderly that it almost made Tyler hurt). 

 

“Give me your phone.” Josh instructed and Tyler found himself complying without question, because how could he saw no to Josh’s warm brown eyes and light touch that was sending sweet electric shocks throughout his arm. After typing for a moment, Tyler watching him the entire time, Josh handed him his phone back and --looking very proud of himself as he spoke, said, “I put my number in your phone, text or call me or whatever if you need anything. Or just wanna talk.” 

 

Tyler couldn't help the smile that grew over his face at Josh’s solution, and he nodded as he pocketed his phone, saying, “Alright I will.” He moved forward yet again, but the hand on his arm tightened and Tyler suddenly became hyper aware of the fact that Josh's warm breath was ghosting along the back of his neck due to how he stood practically flush against Tyler’s back. 

 

“See you soon?” 

 

“Sure.” Tyler responded, darting forward and out of the apartment before Josh could say (or do) anything else. His heart was pounding in his chest as he walked, but --for once it wasn't because he was afraid of his father’s drunken rage or scared of his mother leaving, it was all because a cute boy named Josh had practically flirted with him in his kitchen and put his number into his phone. 

 

Tyler couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face for the entire time he walked home, and even when he was back inside his own bedroom he lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling; grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the comments, kudos, and bookmarks!! it really makes me happy to see that people are enjoying my work, let me know in the comments if anyone his any suggestions or requests!! and just a btw I have the end of this story planned out to the end, so hopefully it will be finished within the next few weeks. :) have a great day!


	4. The Judge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pray it all better.

A week had passed since he’d been at Josh’s apartment a second time, and Tyler couldn’t help but cast a worried glance at his calendar which was beginning to become covered in red x’s. 

 

November 13. 

 

The week had been… uncharastically uneventful and Tyler couldn’t help but wonder if Josh had something to do with it. Tyler had spent nearly every waking moment texting or talking with Josh, whose hours at work had increased making him unable to join Tyler’s late night wanders around town but more that able to text the younger boy for hours at a time. Tyler sometimes wondered if he was bothering Josh, they’d only known each other for now two weeks and he’d talked to Josh more in the past week than he had with Mark (his friend of three years) in the past year. 

 

But he shoved these worries away, because Josh’s carefree nature and low soothing voice made him happy to spend the day up in his room and forget about about the worries that usually kept him gripping to consciousness during the night. 

 

His stepdad had spent the majority of it out at the pub or down in the living room watching some sports game (two things that he did silently and without issue unless Tyler happened to be in the same room) due to the fact that his mother had decided to work from home for the week. She’d set herself up in the kitchen, greeting Tyler with a smile and an offered breakfast every morning and again he wondered if some part of her felt guilty about leaving him alone in that house. But that thought was quickly discarded when, on Saturday evening around the dinner table, she had announced she would be out of the house all weekend in meetings and would be leaving again on Monday morning for a conference. 

 

As Tyler stabbed the overcooked vegetables on his plate, pushing them around, he briefly wanted to ask her if it was normal for business meetings to be held in single bed hotel rooms with men half her age. 

 

But he didn’t. Instead he just nodded and ducked his head down lower to his chest as his parents began arguing about something he didn’t care about. 

 

After dinner, when he had been washing up the plates left from the meal of tension his mother had walked up next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. The touch was more comforting than anything Tyler had felt in the past few years (except for the lingering touch Josh had on his wrist that night in his kitchen) and they stood in silence for a minute while Tyler avoided eye contact. The bruise on his cheek had faded and the split in his lip had almost fully healed; superficially he was sure he looked fine if only a little tired and that his mother was trying to persuade him it would be fine. 

 

But he didn’t want to forgive her. 

 

And so he’d shrugged her hand off and had cranked up the temperature of the water, burning his hands and taking his mind away from the tears threatening to pour over his face, and watched as she -deflated- left the room. 

 

The next morning the house was quiet, and Tyler knew she was gone. 

 

Tyler’s mother loved going to church, but he was pretty sure she was doing it wrong. She spent the whole Sunday morning out of the house, praying and chatting with the people Tyler hadn’t seen since he was younger while she ignored the heresy in her own life. The affair Tyler was sure his stepfather knew about and the man himself who couldn’t be farther from the values preached in that church. Tyler had spent all morning holed up in his room and away from his stepdad who he assumed was still sleeping, but when he heard the front door open signalling her return he jolted awake. 

 

He’d texted Josh for what felt like the hours the night before, so much so that he’d fallen asleep to the dull glow from his phone and Josh’s words. Waking up, his eyes were crusted over with sleep and Tyler felt his back crack as he sat up, but other than the slight inconveniences he felt better than he had in weeks. He looked back at his phone, wanting to continue the conversation full of smiley faces and winks but stopped when he heard footsteps louder than his mother’s on the staircase. 

 

His door swung open, and Tyler barely remembered to slide his phone under his pillow as his stepfather scowled down at him from across the room. 

 

“I’m going out, watch the house.” He said, and Tyler nodded in response and he sat in a moment of thick, tense silence before his step dad nodded (mostly to himself) and left his room, the door still swung wide open. He waited until he couldn’t hear his stepfather's footsteps, and even longer until he heard the low rumble of the truck engine driving away from the house before sighing out and pulling himself off of the bed. Without even thinking Tyler did two things he would’ve never thought to combine: he grabbed his ukulele and began strumming the tune that’d been stuck up in his head for days now after sending a Josh a text reading, ‘wanna come over?’ 

 

Tyler didn’t wait for a response once he’d texted over his address, just leaned back against his bed and let himself become completely entranced in strumming his instrument as he smiled at the vibration behind him. He didn’t need to check his phone, Tyler already knew the answer that he’d see. 

 

of course, ill be there xxJosh

\---

The knock at the door startled Tyler out of his focus, and he kept a tight grip on his instrument as he walked down the stairs to find Josh’s bright smile illuminating his front porch and bright red hair blinding him. 

 

“You changed your hair?” Tyler asked, stepping aside the let Josh into his home. 

 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I did.” Josh said, running a hand through his bright hair and tossing Tyler a smaller but more heartfelt smile as he explained, “Got it done a few days ago, Kevin said the blue was getting a bit too faded to look hardcore anymore so I changed it up.”

 

“I like it.” 

 

Tyler blurted out before he could think twice over it, and opened his mouth to apologize but was cut off when Josh beamed, exclaiming, “Thanks! I’m glad you do because honestly I wasn’t sure about red.” He moved past Tyler to ruffle his hair in the hallway mirror before turning back to the younger boy, face mock serious as he asked, “Do you think it makes me look badass?” 

 

Tyler couldn't help but laugh, forgetting how easy it was talking and laughing with Josh after a week’s separation, as he said, “Yeah, sure it does.” 

 

Josh laughed as well, before glancing down at Tyler’s hand and asking, “You gonna play for me?” Tyler never played his music for people, at least never one on one. He’d played in Mark’s store for years but it was impersonal, no one made eye contact with the scrawny pianist in the corner and Tyler was fine with that. He wrote too deeply for his lyrics to be easily shared, and even having Mark listen in for more than a few verses made his heart race. 

 

But he hadn’t just invited Josh over to sit in silence for the day. 

 

At Tyler's slow nod, Josh’s face lit up even more (at this point Tyler wondered if he'd ever be able to see again) and he said, “Let’s hear some masterpieces Ty.” Rolling his eyes slightly, Tyler smiled and led Josh back up the stairs and to his room, shoved in the back corner of his house as far away from his parent’s as possible, and sat down on the bed. Josh paused for a moment before taking a seat across from Tyler and looking at him expectantly. 

 

Most of Tyler’s songs were sad. Melodramatic and depressing because he never felt like expressing the small happinesses in his days over the seemingly mountainous negative aspects of his life. But over the past few days he’d taken the tune that had been stuck up in his head, and mixed it in with the little scribbles of lyrics he’d started since he meet Josh and began the first song he could smile along too in a while. 

 

He began strumming on the instrument, refusing to make eye contact with Josh despite the fact that Josh had practically been the writer of this song. 

 

“When the leader of the bad guys sang,  
Something soft and soaked in pain  
I heard the echo from his secret hideaway  
He must've forgot to close his door  
As he cranked out those dismal chords  
And his four walls declared him insane.” 

He started singing along, slowly becoming more and more involved in the song as he completely absorbed his focus in the words. He forget about Josh sitting right across from him as he started the next lines, fingers moving fast and strumming hard along the small instrument. 

“I found my way  
Right time wrong place  
As I pled my case”

Tyler had never considered himself an overly religious person but he prayed Josh could hear the message he’d crafted to be heard between the lyrics, all about how accidental their friendship was and how much it meant to Tyler. He sang what he knew he could never say to Josh, and kept his eyes squeezed closed tight as he sang and sang and sang. 

“You're the judge, Oh no  
Set me free  
You're the judge, Oh no  
Set me free  
I know my soul's freezing  
Hell's hot for good reason  
So please, take me.” 

As Tyler strummed the last verse of the song he had yet to finish, he slowly opened his eyes and kept them trained of the dirty bed spread before him instead of looking up to Josh who had been silent since he’d started the song. His heart was pounding in his chest, and every bad thought Tyler would think of was racing through his mind at an incredible speed. Joshua was repelled no doubt, they’d only known each other for a few weeks and yet here he was (an idiotic 17 year old kid) practically confessing his love to a man almost five years his senior who no doubt surely had a life of his own and no time for someone like-  
“Tyler that was...that was….” Josh said trailing off as he struggled for words, and Tyler risked a glance up and was startled by how close Josh was sitting to him. He could practically feel the other man’s warm breath and could see the shimmering flecks of yellow and gold buried deep within his eyes. 

“Strange?” Tyler offered, moving to stand up but was stopped by Josh’s iron tight grip on his hand. 

“Fantastic.” Josh said, and suddenly he was so close Tyler couldn’t breath. Suddenly his ukulele was laying behind him on the bed and Josh’s hands were no longer gripping his wrists in attempt to stop Tyler from fleeing but were wrapped gently around his hand while the other rested on his face. Suddenly he was staring directly into Josh’s warm eyes, closer than he had ever been with anyone else but still father than how he wanted to be. 

Suddenly, Tyler was moving forward and kissing Josh. 

He was sure it was him who leaned in first, but it was no doubt Josh who initiated the way their lips moved alongside one another’s. Tyler may have had his hand rested on Josh’s thigh and the other curled into his crudely dyed bright hair but it was Josh who twisted his head and explored every inch of Tyler that he gave openly.  
Kissing Josh was a religious experience, the way he curled his tongue around Tyler’s, and pulled it into his mouth in order to taste him fully. The way he nipped at Tyler’s bottom lip in a way that made the soft pain feel utterly, and wonderfully good. Tyler could feel the warmth of Josh’s body radiating onto him and he pressed a hand up against Josh’s chest and sighed into the older boy’s mouth at how he could feel Josh’s heart beating just as rapidly as his own from within his chest. 

 

They broke away, both breathing heavily from a kiss full of passion and youthful lust that was still capped under an illusion of innocence. Tyler felt more awake than he had in months, and he rested his forehead against Josh's shoulder as he let his heartbeat return back to normal. 

 

Well, as normal as it could be with Josh’s arms wrapped around his waist and his nose buried into his hair. 

 

“I loved your song,” Josh said, when Tyler finally felt his face return to its normal hue instead of the bright red flush he had gained from kissing Josh and pulled away to look back at the other boys face, “and I’d love to hear more.” 

 

“Are you asking me out?” Tyler asked, and oh god when did his voice start sounding like that and where had that confidence come from? 

 

But, as always, his worries were swept away by Josh smiling and resting his forehead against Tyler’s own, his hand laid softly on the back of Ty’s neck, “Would you say yes if I was?” 

 

“I’d say I’d play you the rest of your song.” Tyler said bluntly, looking away bashfully as Josh grinned, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Suddenly it grew quiet again, and Tyler became hyper aware of the feeling of Josh’s thumb stroking over his hand and the steady sound of his breathing. Just as Josh began to lean forward, his hand moving down from Tyler’s neck to his back, the front door slammed open and Ty froze. 

 

“It’s my stepdad,” Tyler said, his voice a hushed and panicked whisper, as he turned to Josh saying, “you gotta go.” 

 

The older boy opened his mouth to argue but he must’ve smelled the fear radiating off of Tyler because he pressed a chaste kiss against his forehead and whispered, “I’ll see you soon?” Tyler nodded, already opening his window for Josh to crawl out of because there was no way in hell he would let Josh see his stepfather. “Nice jacket.” Josh said, winking at Tyler from where he stood halfway out of the window before smiling at Tyler’s reddened face at mention of Josh’s jacket which lay spread over his bed and going out. 

 

Not a moment after Tyler had put his screen back on the window and slammed it closed, separating the chilled mid November air from his slightly warm bedroom, did his door swing open for the second time that day revealing his --clearly-- drunk stepfather. 

 

“Your mother left early,” He said, smelling of booze and cigarettes and it was all Tyler could do to keep a straight face and not let the grimace he could feel coming on cover his features. 

 

“Okay.” He said, Josh’s lingering presence making his voice sound stronger than it ever had and his stepdad only waved his hand and stumbled back down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

 

Letting out a sigh of relief tyler flopped back onto his bed, his lips still tingling from where Josh had kissed him and his fingers itching to text said man. And, as Josh began to refill his thoughts, Tyler suddenly realized he had admitted that the song he had played was all about Joshua Dun. 

 

Fuck. 

 

He covered his face with his hands as he buried his face in his pillow. ‘I’m in too deep’ Tyler thought to himself and he wanted to be upset at how easy it was to give himself over to josh’s everything but as he lay there, letting day slowly turn into night, Ty realized he never wanted to let go of Josh.


	5. We Don't Believe What's On T.V.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The city is prettier during the day, but it’s more awake at night.

It wasn’t until that Friday that Josh followed up on his claimed desire to see Tyler again. Tyler spent those four days crossing out the days on his calendar and avoiding his stepfather who seemed to have drunk himself in a state of uncaring. 

 

He’d spent his days skating around the house and fiddling around with the school work his online homeschooling program gave him every week. Tyler, along with his siblings, had been homeschooled all his life. When he was younger he could remember sitting around the table with his siblings and parents doing their work together, but for the past few years Tyler had completed what little work he had up alone in his room. He’d be done with his high school requirements before the normal school year was up and Tyler often found mind wandering to what he would do once he finished his school and turned 18. 

 

He knew he wanted to play music, but he didn’t know exactly how to do it. Tyler had never had an official job in music, hell he didn’t even think he’d be able to go to college with what little money he had saved over the years. 

 

His parents sure as hell wouldn’t be much help to him. 

 

Pushing his laptop away once he had finished the work he’d started earlier that day, Tyler fell back onto his bed and pressed his fingers into his forehead. He could feel a headache growing after a few hours spent on his computer, but Tyler suddenly found his headache vanishing as he remembered why he had hurried to finish it all. 

 

Josh had texted him a few days prior, telling him to keep his Friday night clear and to not forget his jacket when Josh picked him up. He had refused to tell Tyler anything about their evening plans, only telling him to be ready by 8. 

 

Rolling up and off his bed Tyler yanked off his shirt as he moved towards the bathroom and took in his reflection in the poorly lit bathroom mirror. He didn’t look perfect, his elbows and knees still stuck out more than they should and Tyler could see the thin scars decorating his arms and thighs shining out against his tanned skin in the bathroom light. But he looked better. His stomach didn’t curve into him as much as it used to and Tyler grinned when he realized he couldn’t count his ribs. Over the last few weeks his appetite more than anything hda returned, partially because his mom had started packing food into the house that wasn’t beer or shitty pub leftovers, and partly because Josh made him happy enough that his mind had the extra space to think about things like food, sleep, and love. 

 

Pulling his shirt back on, Tyler noticed that his hair was sticking straight up as it always had and --for a moment-- he ran his hands through it in a failed attempt to contain it. Leaving his hair alone (because it wasn't as though Josh hadn't seen his wild hair before), his eyes travelled down to his face which was, for once, free of any marks. Sure, he had a few blemishes poking out here and there but the bruise on his jaw had now completely faded and his lip healed as well. Even the bags under his eyes which he had believed to be a permanent part of his face had faded slightly, Josh’s kind words having lulled him to sleep for the past two weeks. Tyler stood up a bit straighter in front of the mirror, rolled his shoulder back, and looked directly into his own eyes. He felt and looked better than he had in months and Tyler couldn’t help the shy smile that spread out over his face at the thought of it. 

 

Pulling on clothes only slightly less wrinkled and slightly cleaner than those he wore now, Tyler grabbed Josh’s jacket (which, honestly was quickly becoming his own) and wondered is he should take a scarf as well. The first snow hadn't fallen yet, the cold outside was still only the annoying bitter nip in the air that pushed around the dead leaves on the ground and not the magical sheets of snowy white that everyone wanted. 

 

He decided against a scarf. 

 

His stepfather had been quiet all day, Tyler wasn’t even sure of he was at the house at the current moment, but he didn't want to take any chances. He got his window open in a few minutes and in five he was standing outside waiting for Josh’s truck to pull up. 

 

“Hey there stranger, can I offer you a ride?” Tyler laughed at Josh’s poor attempt of humor he climbed it the passenger seat, the warmth of the car instantly enveloping him. He rubbed his hands together as he attempted to bring life back into them as Josh shook his head, laughing at his own joke. “Ready for tonight?” 

 

“Should I be scared or excited?” Tyler asked, looking up at Josh through his eyelashes as he fiddled his hands in his lap. 

 

Josh paused for a moment, pretending to think on the question, before answering, “Hm, both. Aren’t the best things in life a mixture of both?” This time it was Tyler’s turn to think, and his mind immediately jumped back to the night Josh had kissed him, how his heart had raced in fear and he had pushed forward with excitement and exactly how breathless the entire ordeal had left him, and he felt his cheeks begin to heat up as he nodded in response to Josh’s question. The car turned into a comfortable silence, Josh cranked the heat up a few more degrees and took the opportunity to slide his free hand over to grasp onto Tyler’s own. Their fingers entwined and Tyler relaxed back onto the seat as Josh held his hand, the feelings of safety and happiness that Josh so often emitted washing over him. 

 

“You ever been to the Mirror Lake?” Josh asked suddenly. 

 

“The one on the college campus?” Tyler asked and, when Josh nodded, continued, “No I’ve never been there. Why? You’re not planning a picnic in the middle of November are you?” Josh laughed. 

 

“Of course not,” He said, stroking a thumb over top of Tyler’s hand, “I was just wondering, you spend enough time in that woods by your house, I just wondered whether you’d been there. Seems like something you’d like.” Josh turned towards Tyler, the remainder of laughter etched across his face, “And besides, it’d be a good summer date.” 

 

“Yeah,” Tyler said, turning to look out the window, “it would.” He didn’t say anything about the fact that he’d be an adult in two weeks and how staying anywhere even close to Columbus had been an impossible idea for the past three years. Or how he was sure Josh had a life, had dreams about a future that didn’t involve Tyler in any way. Tyler didn’t say any of this. Instead he squeezed Josh’s hand and watched as the dark city flashed past them. 

\---

The car stopped much sooner than Tyler had thought it would and when he glanced out at their destination he laughed out loud, doubling over as he laughed harder than he had in weeks. 

 

“What?” Josh asked, looking utterly confused and just as doubtful as Tyler had been when they first meet. 

 

“It’s nothing, it’s just,” Tyler started, wiping away happy tears from the corner of his eyes as he explained, “It’s just I was worried about whatever crazy thing you had planned, and it seems that was all for nothing since you’ve brought me to a movie theater.” Families and young kids out on a friday night all milled around the parking lot, slowly making their way either in or out of the complex. The theater wasn't anything grand or special (it was stationed in a outlet mall next to a grocery store and a 24 hours liquor store) but Tyler couldn't have been happier. The was something he knew, something he could handle. 

 

Especially with Josh. 

 

Josh relaxed visibly at Tyler’s words, saying, “Well hey it's good to stick with the classics.” And Tyler nodded, still giggling, in agreement, 

 

“What’re we seeing?” Tyler asked as they started walking up towards the theater. Josh’s hand hadn’t left his since they’d left the car and were usually Tyler would be worried about someone seeing and saying something, Josh’s ease relaxed him as well. 

 

“I have to keep some things a surprise.” Josh said, winking as he held the door open for Tyler. Tyler watched as Josh bought the tickets --confusing the poor ticket lady immensely after making a whole ordeal about how he was paying when Tyler had tried to slide the lady a ten-- and he leaned up against Josh’s side as he paid. Josh stepped inches closer to Tyler, turning so the younger boy could stand flush up against his side and Tyler hide his smile in his hands. 

 

The theater was dark and packed full of people. Josh pulled him up towards the back row of seats, away from any prying eyes and judgemental whispers. Josh had bought a few boxes of candy at the concession stand, and he held out a box of something fake and sugary towards Tyler during the opening previews and he laughed, accepting them with ease. There wasn’t a bad thought in Tyler’s head, no panic about the theater full of strangers, no worry about returning home tonight, nothing. Just butterflies from the young love that had been growing in his stomach since the moment he meet Josh and his smiling eyes. 

 

Josh couldn’t pull his eyes away from the screen and Tyler couldn’t pull his eyes away from Josh. He didn’t know what it was about him that kept Josh around and --for a moment-- Tyler wanted to cry. Josh was everything he wanted to be and everything he needed and Tyler’s mind finally pulled free of his control and spit warnings about never keeping Josh with him into Tyler’s ears. 

 

“You okay?” Josh asked, tearing his gaze away from the action on screen when he felt Tyler’s eyes boring into the side of his face. 

 

The concerned gaze on him pushed Tyler’s worries away and he swallowed the urge to cry, smiling and saying, “Yeah I’m...I’m good.” Josh’s face broke into a grin, and he threw an arm back around Tyler’s shoulders as he turned back to the movie. Tyler leaned into his side, and spent the rest of the movie focused on nothing but the on screen romance and gentle lull of Josh’s heartbeat. 

\---

Once the movie was over they walked back to the car together, Josh raving about the plot line and CG explosions and Tyler laughing alongside him, fingers laced together. 

 

They talked about everything and about nothing on the car ride back towards Tyler’s place, Josh constantly cranking the heat as high up as it could go and Tyler subtly turning it back down because he had begun to sweat through his sweater and jacket. Tyler asked about Josh’s job and Josh launched into story after story about horrible customers and weird managers. He, in turn, asked Tyler about his family and (when that failed) shifted into asking Tyler about his music. 

 

“Do you wanna play professionally?” Josh asked, as he turned into Tylers road and eased the car to a stop a few houses from Tyler’s own. 

 

The car hummed quietly as Tyler rubbed a hand over his face, saying, “I don’t know how I could, I’ve never even been in a band.” 

 

“Well neither have I,” Josh said, leaning back against the seat, “but that isn't going to stop me. I’ve wanted to make music since I was a little kid, and a lack of experience isn't going to break a twenty year commitment.” 

 

“Yes you have.” Tyler said in response to Josh’s first words, turning to look at him as he continued, “You play with those guys from the music store, Kevin and Chase.”

 

“Doesn’t count, we’re all just friends just messing around. Nobody’s actually making real music, not like the stuff you’ve written.” 

 

“At least it’s something.” Tyler muttered. 

 

“Tyler,” Josh said, growing serious and continuing once the younger boy had meet his gaze, “it doesn’t matter whether you’ve played with people or anything. Nothing you have or haven’t done it going to change what you can do, and --from what I’ve seen-- you can do a lot.” Silence filled the car and Tyler didn’t know how to fill it, the conversation having grown much too serious for him to respond in any other way but heartfelt and he wasn’t ready to cut himself open for Josh. 

 

“I should get going, it’s late and my stepdad it gonna be pissed if Im out any later.” Tyler said, moving to leave only to be stopped by Josh’s fingers on his wrist. 

 

“Wait hold up, you never answered an important question, did you like it?” Josh asked as Tyler had started to climb out of the car, not wanting to end the night in awkward silence. 

 

“Yeah,” Tyler said, confidence swelling up inside him as he continued, staring directly at Josh as he spoke, “I loved it.” Josh’s hand on his wrist pulled him back but Tyler knew he wouldn’t have left even if Josh had told him to. 

 

This kiss was faster than the last, Josh’s hands moving everywhere on Tyler and the younger boys gripping onto his shoulders for dear life as he opened his mouth in time with Josh. Tyler could feel Josh’s toned chest under his shirt and he smiled into his lips as Josh’s hand rested on the small of his back, slipping under Tyler’s shirt as the younger boy nodded to the unasked question. He was practically on top of the older man, balanced precariously halfway into Josh’s lap and half still over the center console oft he car. When Josh pulled him over fully to straddle his lap Tyler thought his heart would leap out of his chest, in the back of his mind he knew he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do (he’d never kissed anyone before Josh and Tyler was pretty sure he’d never want to anyways) but Josh’s moving lips and hands coaxed him along. . 

 

He could taste the remaining sweetness from the candy in Josh's mouth, and Tyler's eyes widened as Josh moved his mouth down to kiss lightly against the tender skin of his neck. Teeth nipped lightly against the junction where Tyler neck arched up into his jaw and the younger boy tangled his hands tightly into Josh’s hair. 

 

Minutes passed, backed only by Tyler’s breathy gasps as Josh continued kissing his neck and his hands stroked over the smooth, tanned skin of his back and the older man's sounds of satisfaction. 

 

“J-Josh.” Tyler stuttered, pressing against Josh's chest in attempt to get him to stop for a moment despite how every fiber of his being was begging for Josh to never stop. 

 

“Was it too much?” Josh asked, worried he had hurt Tyler, as he quickly pulled away at Tyler's words. 

 

“No, no. It was perfect- you were perfect,” Tyler said, fingers still curled into Josh's hair and he hurried to release them choosing to instead grip lightly onto Josh’s shirt, “it's just that I really do have to go.” As much as he wanted to sit there and kiss, taste, and feel Josh forever, Tyler also didn't want to push past kissing with him in a parked car outside his house with his stepfather still inside. 

 

“Alright, I'll text you then?” Josh asked and Tyler nodded, pressing a short kiss against Josh's closed lips before climbing out of the car and making his way to his front porch.

 

He watched Josh drive away, standing in the poorly lit front porch as he tried to wipe the smile off his face from the lingering feeling of Josh’s lips and sweet words. Tyler didn’t even feel cold, whether it was from the heat in Josh’s car or the lingering sensation of skin against skin Tyler didn't know, and didn't care to find out. It took him close to five minutes to contain his grin before he pulled open the front door and walked into the house in a dazed bliss. 

 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Tyler paused in the kitchen to check the message. 

 

tonight was great, glad you liked the movie ;) xxJosh

 

Making his way towards the stairs, his face starting to almost hurt from how much he was grinning and unused to it he was, Tyler froze when he heard a loud voice from behind him. 

 

“Where the hell were you?”


	6. Implicit Demand For Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah I mean, cigarette burns hurt but not as much as keeping them to yourself will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....well if that wasn't the longest hiatus of my life I don't know what was! Sorry this chapter wa so delayed, hopefully you can enjoy a little more bonding time with the boys even if it is short. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter deals with some pretty serious discussions of self harm.

Jerking around at the sound of his stepfather’s voice, Tyler found his voice get caught in his throat as he attempted to speak. 

“I-I was..I was j-just…” 

“Speak up boy!” A hand slapped across Tyler’s face and he couldn’t help but cry out, clutching at his face because after nearly two weeks of nothing he’d forgotten how much it hurt. 

“I’m sorry.” Tyler said, voice barely above a whisper. He wanted to scream, to yell back all the abuse his step dad had told him twofold, to kick and punch at the man who stood towering over him. But he couldn’t find it within himself even to flee, much less speak up, and he stood frozen to the spot. Hands grabbed at his shirt and Tyler cowered as he tensed, anticipating another blow. But when none came, Tyler cracked open one eye and looked up to see his stepfather’s face clouded over with something he couldn't place. 

“You out with girl?” At that question Tyler felt his blood run cold and his mind raced as it tried to figure out what the best answer would be. He should’ve known there would be a mark on his skin, plain as day for anyone to see, he should've known. Telling his step dad he was out with a girl would only cause more problems, rising to questions about who she was and demands to bring her over. But Tyler couldn’t even consider the other option. He’d wind up dead on this floor before he could finish. 

“Well?” His step dad practically roared and Tyler fought and pushed for his voice to stay on his tongue and not die in his throat like it usually did. 

He straightened up his stance, not daring to pull away but raising up his chin to look into his stepdad’s angry eyes as he cast his lot. 

“Yeah I was, out with a girl…” His words trailed off at the end, but Tyler hardly noticed. The hands on his shirt released and Tyler suddenly found he could breathe, letting go of the breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding. 

His step dad nodded, waving his hand slightly towards Tyler’s direction as he stumbled away, muttering, “‘Bought damn time.” The second his back turned Tyler booked it up to his room, tripping on the stairs and landing his knees on the hardwood floor with a crack. He swallowed back the yelp of pain and turned into his bedroom, swinging his bedroom door closed behind him as he lay on his bed, heart racing. 

Nothing ached, except for his knees, and Tyler tried to reassure himself over and over again that nothing had happened to him. 

“Nothing...had...happened…?” 

Tyler almost couldn't allow himself to believe those words. Never before had a conversation with his stepdad gone so...smoothly. 

Turning onto his side, Tyler hid his smile in his shirt sleeve as his mind pushed past the conversation he had just happened and to the earlier part of the night, and his heart began racing at what had happened with Josh earlier that same night. All of the life life advice sprinkled in alongside Josh’s lips that were hot and soft against his skin left Tyler blushing viciously, turning to press his face into his pillow and groan out loud. 

God he had no idea what he was doing, this was so far out of his element Tyler didn’t even know what to think. All he knew was that he wanted to do everything, everything with Josh. 

He fell asleep grinning, his cheeks aching as he did so and the moon smiling down through his window. 

\--//--

A few hours later Tyler jolted awake, frantic at the fact he could taste blood in his mouth and could hear a chorus of laughter and shouts coming from downstairs. His hand flew up to his cheek, iron flowing over her tongue as he ran it over the canker sore he’d bitten in his cheek throughout the middle fo the night. 

“Fuck,” Tyler whispered, pulling himself out of bed and peering down the hall in attempt to figure out where that noise was coming from. 

Crowded around the kitchen table were his stepfather’s friends who shared absolutely nothing in common except for their tastes for his stepdad’s shitty beer and even shitter company. Most nights they gambled around the kitchen table, some sports game on in full volume in the background, and Tyler spent his night lying awake in bed trying to block out the hoots of laughter and skin crawling ‘jokes’ about the girls down the street. 

But his mouth was still bleeding and Tyler quickly realized he hadn’t drunk anything in the past 24 hours, made blatantly clear to him by the way his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth. He crawled off his bed, wincing as the bed frame squeaked loudly, and stood in the center of the rom for a moment trying to decide what he should on. It wouldn’t take that long to sneak to the bathroom, but he’d pass by the kitchen on his way to do so. 

It also wouldn’t take that long to dial Josh’s number and climb out of the window-

“Fuck.” Tyler muttered again when he stretched his jaw, causing the scab on the cut inside his mouth to tear away and begin to bleed again making his mouth taste like metal. 

He walked out of the door quickly and without any planning, already halfway down the hall before he realized what he was doing. In plain sight of his stepfather, who narrowed his eyes when he glanced up from his cards, Tyler froze in the middle of the hallway. His mind screamed at him to move on, that he was going to have worse than a bleeding mouth if he didn’t start walking (or better yet running) but he couldn’t.

Tyler was a deer caught in the headlights and he couldn't be more pissed. 

As he stood there, Tyler looked out to the kitchen and noticed two new faces sitting around the table. They looked far younger than his stepfather, almost Josh’s age, and rougher to. One of them hadn’t looked up from the table, but the other was staring right at Tyler. He wasn’t scowling like his stepdad was, who was moving to rise from the table, but was grinning flirtatiously as he stared at what was most certainly not Tyler’s face. 

Tyler was in the bathroom within seconds, back pressed against the door which he locked quickly as his heart raced. He didn’t even want to think about who that man was or what he wanted from his stepfather but Tyler wasn’t an idiot. He’d watched enough daytime crime shows to know when the scary man looks at your crotch you don’t ask questions. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” Tyler asked the tile floor, staring at it as he slid down from the door to the floor. He wasn’t going back out there, his bedroom door didn’t even have a lock but it wasn’t like he could spend the rest of the night in the bathroom. Could he? 

“Fuck.” Tyler repeated, for the third time that night, banging his head lightly against the back of the door. 

He should’ve just called Josh. 

Josh. 

Tyler glanced down at his phone and thought about his options for about three seconds before his fingers were typing wildly and hitting send. 

 

hey. tyjo 

Hey. What’s up? :) xxJosh

nothing much, you’re not anywhere near my place are you? tyjo 

No, why? Do you need me to be :0 xxJosh

no not really…. don’t worry about it. tyjo 

Your stepdad? xxJosh

…. tyjo 

I’ll be there in five. xxJosh

 

Tyler sighed and couldn’t keep the small smile off his face that grew at Josh’s messages. He didn’t want to be a burden onto him, every letter he pressed on that keyboard made Tyler feel like he was pushing Josh further and further away. But he also couldn’t deny that it made him almost giddy at how quickly Josh came to rescue, because as much as Tyler couldn’t admit he needed help he knew he couldn’t deny it from Josh. 

Five minutes passed, the longest five minutes of Tyler’s life it felt as he watched water drop out of the faucet while he listened to his stepdad’s booming voice, before Tyler stood up from the floor. Josh hadn’t texted him back but Ty knew he must be close. 

He flung the door open only to walk straight into the man who had sent him running in there in the first place. 

He looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks, his face covered in uneven patches of dark hair, and Tyler stepped back repulsed at how how awful he smelled, some awful combination of weed and cigarettes and something Tyler didn't even want to try and place. 

“You were in there an awful long time, you know it’s rude to keep guests waiting.” He said, leering over at Tyler who squared his shoulders and wiped the grimace off his face. Ducking around the man, who had nearly blocked the entire doorway, Tyler felt fingers grabbing at the back of his shirt and he swung around the corner into his room barely remembering to grab his -Josh’s- jacket off from his bed before he was out the window and running across the damp grass in his front yard. 

He was across the yard in seconds, chest heaving, when he saw Josh’s truck pulling up the road. Waving down the car, Tyler tried to calm down his erratic breathing.

“Hey Ty hop in-” Josh started to say, leaning over the console to open the passenger side door, but cut himself when he looked at Tyler incredulously and asked, “Where the hell are your shoes?” 

Tyler glanced down at his feet, covered only in socks which were now soaked from his sprint across the lawn, and laughed loudly. He didn’t answer, just climbed in the car and sighed as the heat hit him. 

“Thanks for picking me up,” Tyler said, as Josh began to drive away, watching his house grow smaller and smaller as they drove from the rearview mirror.

“Yeah it’s no problem, I was out anyways,” Josh glanced over at Tyler out of the corner of his eye, and he paused before asking, “Do you wanna talk about-” 

“Can we grab a bite somewhere? I’m starved,” Tyler cut him off, shooting Josh a look he hoped he would understand. Tyler wanted to talk to him, needed to talk to him, but now wasn’t the right time. 

And besides, he was actually hungry. 

“Sure.” Josh said and smiled, but TYler could see from a mile way that it was forced. He sighed again, and let his hand drift over to rest on the one Josh had rested on his thigh. Their hands intertwined and Tyler was happy, leaning back in the seat as Josh’s body seeped in through his palm. 

Josh smiled again and they drove the rest of the way in silence. 

\--//--  
The Taco Bell they stopped at was open 24 hours and was empty inside, Josh had wanted to stretch his legs after claiming he’d been “driving around for ages” and Tyler didn’t bother to ask him where he had been driving, just hopped out of the car and followed him inside. 

The lady at the register looked older than both of them and took their orders without so much as blinking, and Tyler pressed a wadded up ten dollar bill onto the counter before turning around and leaning up against it while Josh finished their order. 

As they walked to a table far in the back, with the least amount of used napkins decorating the floor around them, Tyler felt Josh’s hand press lightly on the small of his back as they walked. He leaned back into it, unconsciously, and let himself be led to his seat before sitting down and staring directly across into Josh’s eyes. 

“So..?” Josh asked, swirling his straw around as he stared across at Tyler. 

This wasn’t a good place either, the lights hurt his eyes and Tyler could see the women from the register staring at them as she chewed loudly on her gum, but he knew Josh wasn’t going to let this go. 

“My step-dad is crazy.” 

“Well yeah, I got that much but why-” 

“No.” Tyler said, cutting Josh off, “He’s crazy. Real messed up.” Josh stayed quiet, letting Tyler take a breath and collect himself before continuing, “He does….he does….” 

Josh watched him, urging him to continue but Tyler couldn’t make himself speak. He’d said too much already, at least felt like he had. 

A tense moment of silence passed, and the nosey register lady walked over and dropped their food off with a huff before making her way back to the register. Tyler stared down at his food, picking it at for a moment as he tried to find the hunger he’d felt earlier. 

“You know I know how hard it can be to talk about this stuff.” As Josh spoke Tyler’s head shot up from his food, watching in awe as Josh yanked off his jacket and turned his arm over towards him, the swirling colors decorating his bicep. But as Tyler looked closer, past the colors and designs, he could see the faint outline of old scars; little circles and small lines raised up on his skin and covered in blue. 

“Josh…” 

Tyler started, not sure what else he could possibly say, but Josh shrugged and continued, “They’re old, mostly self inflicted from a rough patch in high school.” He paused, taking in Tyler’s wide eyes before saying, “I got in with the wrong crowd Tyler, drugs alcohol the whole nine yards. Took it all trying to fill up whatever loneliness I was feeling, but you know what I learned?” Again he paused, taking a long sip of his drink before leaning across the table so that his face was centimeters away from Tyler’s own. 

“That cigarettes hurt a lot more than scalpels?” Tyler asked, cringing at the way Josh almost, almost, flinched at the harshness of his words. 

“Yeah I mean, cigarette burns hurt,” Josh said, once he had collected himself, “but not as much as keeping them to yourself will.” 

“I’m not hurting myself,” Tyler said, around a mouthful of food. 

“Didn’t say you were,” Josh shot back, stealing a couple chips off of Tyler’s tray as he said, “but just cause you’re not the one putting the bruises on your arms doesn’t mean you can’t hurt yourself any other way.” Tyler’s stomach dropped down to the floor and he looked down at his arms, matching bruises from where his stepfather had gripped him shining up at him from how he’d rolled his sleeves up earlier in their meal. 

Heart racing he stood up from the table, ignoring Josh’s protest and dashed out into the parking lot. 

The cold air hit him hard and Tyler leaned up against the wall of the building, watching the cars drive by as he tried to catch his breath for the second time that night. He didn’t know why Josh's words were getting to him as much as they were, but he couldn’t stop it. He’d never told anyone about his step father, about his life at home and here Josh was figuring it all out for himself. 

“Tyler?” Tyler looked up from the ground to see Josh standing next to him as he spoke, “Look I know that was a little direct, I didn’t mean to make you feel so….attacked.” He sat down on the curb and Tyler followed him down there. 

He wondered briefly if the lady from inside could still see them. 

As they sat there, Tyler let his hand crawl over to Josh’s, intertwining their fingers just like he had in the car and he watched as Josh smiled at his actions. 

“I don’t want to go home.” Tyler said, and Josh nodded although he didn’t know if he meant tonight or ever. 

Not that it really mattered. 

“Do you want to come over?” Josh asked and Tyler looked over at him. He stared at that multi colored arm covering up years of abuse and secrets, stared at that crooked smile still nervous he was going to far, and stared at his hand which stayed clasped in his own. 

“Yes.”


	7. House of Gold.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seduction Tips for how to win over cute drummer boys.

“So basically, mi casa su casa?” Josh ran hand through his hair as he spoke, gesturing to his apartment (which Tyler had been in before but speculated Josh might've already forgotten that), before shrugging and saying, “I don’t even know if that's right, I took French in high school.” 

“You did not.” Tyler laughed, hugging his jacket tighter around himself as he walked in behind Josh, still blushing from how he had held the door open for him. The ride to Josh’s apartment had been loud, Josh had blared the radio and talked about absolutely nothing and Tyler couldn't have been thankful. He’d talked enough that Tyler had been able to push all his bad thoughts, about his step dad and burned arms, out of his mind at least for the night. His face felt numbed from the cool air outside, and as he walked into Josh’s living room the heat of the place began to seep past his skin and clothes warming him up from the inside out. It made the tips of his fingers and nose tingle and Tyler knew his face was red from the temperature change. 

Or it could be due to the fact that Josh was staring at him. 

Right. At. Him. 

“Oh, yeah I did honest.” Josh said, catching himself and tearing his gaze away from Tyler. He forced himself to turn his back, choosing to rifle through the DVD’s on his shelf rather than look at Tyler’s wide eager eyes, pink tinted cheeks, bright red bitten lips that were just so- 

He cut his thoughts off just as they surfaced, he did not need to be getting a boner over the practically run away kid standing in his living room. 

“Make yourself comfortable. On the couch, or wherever you’d like….” Josh trialed off again, cursing himself for being so easily flustered as Tyler’s face stayed plastered in the front of his thoughts. He turned back around, to where Tyler now sat perched precariously on the edge of the couch like he was afraid he was going to break it, a few movies in hand. “Take your pick,” Josh said, tossing the films down on to the coffee table in front of Tyler, and running his hand through his hand yet again as he continued, “These are the newest ones I have, everything else is old shit mostly. We don’t even have to watch one if you don’t want to, I guess it is pretty late-” 

“They’re great,” Tyler said, cutting him off, and Josh could’ve prayed at how blessed he felt for him to have stopped his incessant rambling. But then Tyler fucking smiled, all warm brown eyes and red lips spread out wide, and Josh felt more demand than blessed. 

“I’ll uh, I’ll grab you a blanket,” Josh said, coughing slightly as he turned partially towards his bedroom, “You want some sweats as well? The stuff you're wearin’s kinda wet.” 

“Sure.” Tyler said, pulling his long, skinny legs up under him as he rifled through the movies Josh had tossed down on the table, biting his lip as he read the back covers. Josh took his chance and booked it to his bedroom, tightening his belt as he walked. He didn’t even notice which pants he grabbed, some old black pair stuffed into his drawer, and he knew none of his stuff would fit Tyler’s lanky frame regardless. Kid was like a weed, all long gangly arms and tripping over his own feet. As he turned to walk back to the living room. Josh paused and looked towards the bathroom at the end of the hall and stopped. It was far enough away that Tyler probably wouldn’t hear anything and realistically josh couldn’t make his belt go any together so… 

He shook his head. What the fuck was he doing? God, josh felt like he was seventeen again and sneaking out of class to jerk off in the bathrooms due to how unnecessarily tight his lab partner’s jeans were. Twenty minutes ago he’d been practically talking Tyler off the ledge and now he was thinking about getting off on his big, wide eyes. 

No way in hell. 

Josh took a deep breath, shook his head, and imagine the stormy cold weather outside as he walked back into the living room where Tyler ( who had already stripped off his jeans and tossed them over the edge of the couch and now had every inch of those legs out on display) sat wrapped up in Josh's fuzzy throw grinning at the copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail he held in his hands. 

Fucking great. 

~~*~~

Josh’s apartment was nothing like Tyler's house. Tyler’s house was stuffy and over field with old pictures of people he didn't’ want to see and pictures his mom had forced them all to take that were more fake than the songs he heard the radio. His house was bad memories and carpets stained with beer and salt water tears. 

Josh’s apartment was nothing like this. 

His apartment was lived in; pillows tossed on his couch that matched absolutely nothing in the room, clearly loved books and movies covered shelves that were dotted in polaroid pictures of Josh and people Tyler had never seen all of them smiling freely in their captured moments. Last time Tyler had been here, he’d barely looked around the room, and even now he found he would rather lean back on the couch than snoop around Josh’s memories. 

And that had nothing to do with the fact that the entire couch smelled just like Josh. 

“Thanks,” Tyler called out as Josh returned, tossing him a pair of sweatpants as he plopped down next to him on the couch. Suddenly overcome with a bout of shyness, despite the fact that it was Tyler who made the conscious effort to toss his jeans across the room while josh had spent a peculiarly long time grabbing him said pants, Tyler felt his face heat up as he turned towards Josh. “Would you...uh m-mind….?” 

“Oh yeah? Oh yeah geez sorry,” Josh said, turning to look over at Tyer before turning his eyes back on the T.V. as he turned slightly away from him. He could still see Tyler slightly out of his peripheral vision and he swallowed loudly as Tyler pushed the blanket down on the floor, kicking his legs out as he yanked the first pant leg on. 

Pausing halfway through pulling on the sweatpants that are about twelve sizes too big for him, but strangely almost the right length, Tyler could practically feel Josh’s eyes glued on him and a thought passed through his mind before he could stop it. He wouldn’t mind, really, if Josh watched him. In fact, Tyler felt himself going slower than necessary as he felt the heat of Josh’s gaze on him. 

“You can look….if you want.” Tyler said, his voice barely above a whisper but still he knew josh heard him. Oh God who was he? Josh was going to be disgusted in him, saying things like that to him when- 

Tyler’s eyes jerked back up when he heard a gasp, his eyes locking instantly with Josh’s. Neither one of them turned away, holding each other’s gaze for what felt like an eternity. 

Opening his mouth to speak, to apologize for whatever tension he caused, Tyler’s voice caught in his throat as Josh surged forward, hand catching his chin and pulling Tyler forward just a few inches so to meet Josh’s lips in the middle. Nobody moved, nothing but flesh against flesh but still Tyler swore sparks flew. 

“Oh geez Ty,” Josh said, beginning to pull away, his hand slowly letting go of Tyler’s skin, “I’m so fuckign sorry I don’t know what I was thinking-” 

This time it’s Tyler surprising him, as he leans his ams on both sides of josh’s hips and darts forward, lips pressing up against Josh’s in a way he never knew he could. He’s hesitant, so hesitant, because as Tyler keeps kissing Josh his brain finally catches up with him and begins shrieking all the nonsense that has always filled his mind, all about how Josh is going to find him gross, inexperienced, and awful. But then Josh is kissing him back, leaning up towards Tyler, one hand pressed on the back of his thigh while the other threads itself up through Tyler’s too short hair, and the sparks are back, Tyler’s mind is static, and all he can taste is Josh. 

“That was…” 

“Nice,” Tyler said, sitting back on his haunches and he could practically feel Josh’s hand burning a permanent mark on his leg, and smiled, “it was nice.” 

“Yeah, it was.” Josh said, smiling as well, and if that wasn’t the absolute lamest thing he had ever said to someone he made it ten times worse when, after Tyler had let out a high pitched noise somewhere between a whine and a moan at how Josh’s hand tinted in his hair, Josh rolled his hips up towards Tyler’s in one fluid motion. 

Too red to speak, Josh looked up towards Tyler who --feeling usually calm about something that usually sent him running-- dragged a finger down Josh’s jawline and said, “Not right now I just...I can’t, I want to I just...can’t.” 

“I understand,” Josh said, loosening his grip on Tyler’s hair, “Can I kiss you?” 

Tyler’s heart fluttered, butterflies dancing in his stomach as he nodded vivaciously, saying, “Yes, yes, yes.” Josh’s hands were on him again, the one on his leg sliding up his side to rest on his lower back while Josh’s lips kissed and kissed and kissed him. This time, Tyler found himself being pushed back against the back of the couch, Josh’s warm weight resting on him as he opened his mouth slightly, letting Josh move his lips faster in time with own. 

His hands stayed on Tyler’s back and threaded up in his hair and Tyler could only taste himself, but Josh’s hands felt like sweet fire on his skin and Tyler pressed closer to him with every twist, curl, movement of his lips. 

He felt ethereal, he felt perfect, he felt real. 

They kissed for a while longer, before Tyler pulled away, panting, and rested his head on Josh’s shoulder. He rubbed patterns into Tyler’s back as they both caught their breath. 

“Josh?” Tyler asked, face still buried in Josh’s neck and he fought to keep still as Tyler’s breath warmed his skin, “Can I stay with you tonight?” Part of Josh wanted to say he already was, that he’d already let Tyler into his home for the night, and so of course he could stay. And part of him, a deeper uge, wanted to flip Tyler over onto the couch and kiss him till he couldn’t breathe and show him how well he could love. 

However, the most rational part of him knew exactly what Tyler meant when he asked that simple question. 

So he nodded his head, wrapped his arms tighter around Tyler’s waist, and vowed to never let go. 

~~*~~

The night passed by smoothly, partially due to much of a considerate bed mate Josh was and that Tyler spent most of the time passed out on the couch in a ‘Josh scented sweatshirt’ he’d been given some time during the night. When he woke up, before Josh was anywhere close to consciousness, Tyler stayed still as he listened to Josh’s heartbeat. He complained getting up, shimming out from under Josh’s hold and out of the quiet apartment to trek the few miles in the freezing cold back to his house. 

A week ago he would’ve thought about it much longer. 

A month ago he would’ve left. 

But the sun was just beginning to rise, Josh mumbled something in his sleep while wrapping his arm tighter around Tyler’s waist, and Tyler did not move. 

~~*~~

“Tyler, Ty!” 

Tyler jolted awake, heart racing as he looked frantically around at his surroundings trying to remember exactly why he was covered in a cold sweat and why he could practically taste his beating heart in the back of his throat. When his eyes landed on Josh, who stared at him with a mix of worry and confusion, Tyler pressed a hand over the lum in his throat and shook his head. 

“Sorry I just-” 

“You were muttering in your sleep, you seemed upset,” Josh said, reaching out to place a hand on Tyler’s leg but pulling back before he could, unsure if his touch would be a welcome gesture. 

“I’m fine.” Tyler said, but he was not. He shuffled forward, awkwardly on the couch and with the blanket from last night still tangled around his legs, and laid up against Josh’s side. Josh relaxed his side, sliding an arm out from where it was trapped between their bodies so he could wrap it loosely around Tyler’s shoulders. “Sorry,” Tyler muttered, annoyed at himself for being so high maintenance this early in the morning. 

“Don’t be,” Josh responded, “you’ve nothing to be sorry for. I get them too, sometimes.” He pressed a kiss, chaste and sweet, to Tyler’s temple and he --despite himself-- giggeled. 

“Gross,” Tyler laughed, turning towards Josh and smiling before cutting himself off as Josh moved forwards to press his lips against Tyler’s in a kiss just centimeters closer to being risque than the one he had placed on tyler's forehead. The kiss escalated slowly, Tyler moving his hands to wrap around Josh’s neck as he pushed himself further and further into that mouth. 

“You’re so pretty.” Josh breathed out, his words travelling down Tyler’s spine and leaving tingling sparks in the very tips of his fingers and toes as he grinned into Josh’s mouth. 

“Thanks, so are you.” Tyler said, pulling away bashfully, embarrassed that the first two things he’d done when he’d woken up were almost cry and make out with Josh, as he looked up at Josh through his eyelashes. 

“You wanna see me get about ten times hotter?” Josh asked, and at the incredulous look Tyler gave him he stood up --stretched once giving Tyler a lovely morning wake up of his toned stomach-- and held out a hand, “I make the meanest bowl of cereal you’ll ever have.” 

“I’m ready to be wowed.” Tyler said, laughing as he grabbed Josh’s hand and jumped up to his feet. As Josh walked into the kitchen, Tyler paused and looked down at the sweatpants he had put on sometimes during the night before and laughed loudly, fuller than he had in months. Josh whipped around, shooting him a look, and Tyler gestured down to the pants and wiped at his eyes saying, “Nice skeleton pants, super spooky.” 

Josh laughed as well, rolling his eyes as he called out, “The spookiest! You like Cap’n Crunch or that Reese’s stuff better?” 

“Reese’s.” Tyler said, without pause, and he faltered another moment in the living room. His chest felt lighter than it had in years and Tyler could feel a slight ache in his cheeks from how stretched they’d been over the past twelve hours with all the smiling he’d been doing. He smelled like Josh and could still feel the pressure of his lips on his own and Tyler sighed to himself. 

He was happier than he’d ever been, and it was because of some stupid blue haired boy with mad cereal skills. 

“Tyler! Your cereal’s gonna get soggy and I’m not about wasting God’s cereal gift to man!” 

Tyler laughed, his cheeks aching in a way that felt better than anything (besides John's lips on his own and hand pressing at his back, hair, and skin), and he walked towards the kitchen with Josh's smile and a bowl full of sugary shitty cereal. 

At that moment he knew two things: he’d never forget the feeling of floating that Josh’s smile and kisses gave him, and that he was never giving these damn sweatpants backs. 

And, of course, that Josh did indeed make a killer bowl of cereal. 

“Best you’ve ever had?” He asked, grinning over at Tyler who leaned back against the counter and nodded. 

“Best I’ll ever have.” Tyler answered, and he wasn’t (for once) talking only about the cereal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to cherry's stories, where no one ever finishes their sentence :) also tyler has nice legs, i ain't even gonna apologize.


	8. Air Catcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I won't fall in  
> Love with falling  
> I will try to avoid  
> Those eyes.”

A little over a week passed by, filled with nights spent crashing Josh’s couch when his stepdad was too drunk to care and mornings spent trying to memorize the taste Josh left in his mouth or the intricate designs inked onto his arms. Tyler spent most of the time floating in a blissful happiness by on this morning -November 30th- he was terrified. 

Not because his mom came home today,or that he’d spent the past two days at Josh’s house without seeing his step dad's’ face or hearing form the cops no, Tyler was petrified for another reason. In less than twenty four house he would be 18, legally allowed to ditch his parents and book it out to wherever the hell he wanted. 

For forever the plan had been simple; write his mom a sappy note she didn’t deserve, pack up his ukelele and the small amount cash he had, buy a bus ticket and go. To where, Tyler hadn’t known or ever cared as long as it was far, far away from his own suburban hell. He’d fantasized late at night about the shiny lights and shitty streets of Los Angles but had never planned out an idea further than couch crashing while he played in the streets for easy cash. 

But even that sounded better than four more years in Ohio. 

“Tyler, you good man?” Tyler jerked himself out of his thoughts, turning towards Josh who took one hand off the steering wheel to place it on Tyler’s thigh reassuringly. 

“Yeah I’m good, just… just thinking.” Tyler said, placing a hand over Josh’s own and smiling up at him. 

“About me?” 

“Always.” Tyler laughed, and squeezed Josh’s hand hard because he never wanted to let it go. Tyler wasn’t sure what he and Josh were exactly; not simply friends (friends didn’t kiss each other while watching reruns of friends) but Tyler hadn’t heard Josh say boyfriend once either. He wanted too, but Tyler didn’t think he’d ever be able to initiate something like that. But he and Josh were something, at least, and Tyler wasn’t pretty sure he didn’t need a label to remind him that it meant something special that Josh squeezed his thigh, and no one else’s. 

Sometimes Tyler remembered how much younger he was than Josh. 

“Wanna come over tomorrow? My new drumsticks came, we could mess around a bit and play some stuff.” 

Tyler was inches away from telling Josh about tomorrow, about his birthday and about how the only reason he hadn't already bought a bus ticket was that he didn't know how to get a case for his ukelele and the fact that he was scared he’d never find something that would make him as happy as Josh. 

But mostly the Josh part. 

Instead he nodded, fingers running over top Josh’s hand as they drove, “Yeah sounds great, I’ll bring the mini guitar.” 

Josh laughed. “You say that like that’s not what it is!” 

“Because it’s not what it is!” Tyler countered, laughing alongside Josh before sinking back into a much safer and more comfortable silence as he stared out the window at the passing fields and houses. “You ever think about what it’d be like to leave?” He asked suddenly, all this thoughts bubbling up to the surface of his throat and escaping before Tyler would think twice about saying them. 

“Sometimes,” Josh said, and Tyler tried not to notice how Josh’s hand tightened on his leg, “but I got memories here, it’d be hard to move them all.” He paused, glancing over at Tyler’s expression before adding, “Hard, but not impossible.” 

“I think Los Angeles would be a nice place to live,” He said, tapping out the beat of the song quietly playing on the radio with his foot, “be a bummer to leave the cold though.” 

“A bummer! No way that’d be freakin’ sick to get outta the cold!” Josh said, turning the music up a few notches, “You ever figure out a way for us to get out there I’ll go i na second, I’m already freezing my ass off and it’s not even December.” 

Tyler smiled. 

They pulled into Tyler’s driveway, and he turned towards josh once the car ad stopped, saying, “Parents are gone today, some work thing for both of them, you wanna maybe… you wanna come in? Just for a bit?” 

“Of course.” Josh said, grinning at the prospect of getting to see Tyler --possibly even all of Tyler-- even if it just was for a little bit. 

“Great.” Tyler smiled, hoping out of the car ad waiting for Josh to walk around to his side before linking their hands together and beginning to walk up towards the house. As he walked, Tyler began to have a quickly increasing feeling of dread start to grow in his stomach and he gripped Josh’s hand harder when he realized what it was from. 

The kitchen light was on. 

“Tyler Robert Joseph!” A voice screamed out, followed by the sound of the front door slamming open and all Tyler could do was shrink back next to Josh as his fuming step dad stormed across the yard to where they stood. 

They’d come home early, this was Tyler’s worst nightmare and he could feel his breathing quicken as his step dad came closer and closer until he was right in front of them. 

“Where have you been?” He demanded, glaring at Josh before back at Tyler. 

“I was…” Tyler started, but lost his voice moments after he began to speak, despite his better judgments choosing to simply clutch tighter to Josh’s hand and direct his vision down to his step dad’s shoes. 

Tyler’s step dad stepped forward, face pinched as he glared own at Tyler who seemed to wilt under the sharp gaze. Josh’s presence next to him was the opposite of it’s usual reassurance. Tyler didn’t want him to see into the part of his life he hid from everyone, and he sure as hell didn’t want his parents to see Josh. 

They’d ruined enough already. 

“Get in the house, now.” He snapped and --without thinking-- Tyler pulled away from Josh who grabbed his hand again in attempt to stop the younger boy from following the terrifying man into the house. 

“Josh please,” Tyler pleaded, pulling harder away from the older boy because of how his stepdad was now glaring down at their intertwined hands with a fury Tyler hadn’t ever seen, “please let me go.” 

Josh released his hand and watched as Tyler began to move towards the house, before his attention was cut away when his stepfather stepped right up into his face and snapped, “You stay the hell away, last thing I need is you turning him into a fucking faggot on top of everything else.” 

Shoving the older man away, Josh hissed back, “I haven’t turned him into anything.” He heard a gasp and looked up to see Tyler --eyes wide and wet-- with his hands covering his mouth in shock and back to his stepdad’s fuming expression before Josh realized what he had done. “Tyler I didn’t mean-” 

“I knew you were a fucking fairy.” Tyler glanced up at his stepdad, who had abandoned Josh in the middle of their driveway, as he yelled wincing at the onslaught of insults that fell onto him before a hand was grabbing at his shirt front and pulling him into the house. Deafened by his stepfather’s screaming, Tyler didn’t even notice how Josh stood in the middle of the driveway looking utterly defeated and crushed; he could only focus on the insults his stepdad flung at him as he dragged him into the house. 

Fairy, Faggot, Waste of space, No good piece of- 

“Frank? Frank what the hell is going on?” Releasing his hold on Tyler’s shirt, his stepdad flung him forward towards the kitchen table and Tyler ran into it full force. The wooden edge caught him in the stomach as he toppled over it, knocking the breath away from him as he held on the edges. 

“Your son Kelly, a fucking faggot! Absolutely disgusting, holding hands with that punk outside…” 

Still lying bent over the table --as he attempted to stop the ringing in his ears and pull in a breath-- Tyler blocked out the rest of his stepfather’s words and the sound of his mother’s crying in the background. He didn’t know why she was upset, whether it was caused by being faced with Franks violence or hearing that her youngest child was a fucking disgrace Tyler didn’t know and frankly didn’t care. 

All he knew was that he needed to leave the house and find Josh. 

Pushing himself off the table --Tyler tried to ignore the fact that he could taste blood in his mouth, the cut had probably reopened-- his breathing suddenly quickened when a hand shoved him back down. 

“No son of mine is going to be a sinner, if I have to beat it out of you I will.” Tyler could hear the click of a belt buckle being undone and for a moment he imagined the worst. But when nothing happened for a moment he allowed himself to breath out in hope that he’d only have a bruise to take with him souvenir of his time in the house. But when his stepfather’s hands were pushing his sweatshirt up to expose his back and pressing down hard enough on his neck to make it hard to breath, Tyler began to panic in earnest. 

The leather made a whistling sound as it swung through the air, and a horrible loud thwack as it connected with the skin on his back. Tyler found he couldn't breath as it swung down a second time, no doubt breaking through his skin, with the hand pressing down on his neck and he began crying in earnest. Although Frank had hurt him plenty of times he’d never truly tried to kill him. 

And Tyler didn't want this to be the first time he tried. 

He kicked his legs back, in a weak attempt to push his step dad away from him, catching his stepfather’s leg as he did so but it did nothing to ease the onslaught on his back or the hand cutting off his air supply. If anything it only made the grip on his neck tighter and the leather strap swing down harder. His vision started blurring and Tyler couldn't hear anything besides the blood rushing in his ears. 

God, did he not what this to be the way he died. 

~~*~~

Josh stood frozen on the driveway for close to five minutes before he realized Tyler had gone inside. 

Well, was more like forced inside. 

Shaking his head, Josh moved up to the front door and yanked at it once only to find the door locked closed and he cursed loudly and wracked his brain for a solution. He knew he had to get Tyler, Tyler was a strong kid and a fighter no doubt but Josh knew how terrified of his stepdad Tyler truly was. Walking around the back of the house, trying to avoid the confused glances of neighbors out walking their dogs or kids playing outside he received, Josh finally found the back door and opened it without issue. He sighed in relief and went inside quickly. 

The hallway carpet looked decades old and family photos of a young Tyler smiling around siblings looked back at him but Josh payed no attention to them as the sound of crying and leather against skin reached his ears.

When he reached the kitchen, Josh's primal desire to protect the things he loved took over before a rational thought could pass through his mind. He noticed how the counter was covered in bills and random scraps of paper, how empty beer bottles littered the remaining space, and how Tyler’s mother stood cowered at the other side of the room playing the passive bystander as she kept her eyes shut against her son after his fist had connected soundly with Tyler's stepfather’s face. The old man staggered back and away from Tyler, who seemed to surge back to life as he sucked in loud, wet gasps of air, as his stepfather’s nose began gushing red from where Josh’s fist had landed. 

Josh had his arms around Tyler in an instant who, in an unusual show of weakness, clutched onto Josh’s shirt as he pressed a tear stained face into his front as the older man began to lead him out of the house. Neither one of Tyler’s parents called out for him to come back and Josh swallowed down his fury as he sat Tyler into the passenger side of his truck before igniting the vehicle and speeding away from that awful house. They drove only ten minutes, getting out past the houses and billboards and into the beginnings to what was once green woods but was now only snow covered branches before Tyler spoke. 

“Stop, Josh stop the car please.” He said, hiccupping slightly as he forced the words out in an attempt to calm himself down. Josh eased the car to a stop, pulling it off to the shoulder of the road before leaning back against the seat and loosening his tight grip on the steering wheel. 

“Tyler I am….I am so fucking sorry, I should've never said anything I should have just-” Chapped lips pressed against his own, effectively cutting of Josh’s self deprecating speech before he could even start it. Tyler leaned over the console and towards Josh, grabbing onto his shirt and arms in an attempt to steady himself before Josh pulled him fully over so that Tyler’s thin legs straddled his waist and the younger boy could bury his face into Josh’s neck. They stayed like that for a moment, Tyler pressed up against Josh’s front and the older man with an arm wrapped around Ty’s waist just to remind himself that they were both safe in his car. 

“Did you know I tried to run away? Three years ago, after he smashed a bottle on my head because he was tired of my singing.” Tyler said, his voice cracking through the silence and jolting Josh’s mind awake. 

Josh sat up straight, instantly aware that Tyler was telling him something he had never told anyone before and had probably never planned to share, and tightened his grip on the younger man’s waist as he protested,“Ty, you don’t have to tell me this-” 

But Tyler ignored him, as he continued his story, “I didn’t even take anything with me, money or food or anything. I snuck out of my window in the middle of the night once my head had stopped bleeding.” He pulled away from Josh’s neck, so that he could look the older man in the eye as he continued, laughing dryly as he said, “I’m sure I still had dried blood on my face when the cops found me, a day later in a gas station parking lot just out of the city. He’d called them --my step dad-- when he hadn’t found me hiding anywhere in the house the next day, probably looking to finish screaming at me for the music.” Tyler paused again, and Josh was almost sure he wouldn't go any farther but after almost a minute of silence Tyler said, his voice close to a whisper as he spoke, said, “He told the cops I got in a fight, and had took off because I didn’t want him to know I was high. They didn’t even do a drugs test, just wrote me off and told him he was smart to call them. He almost killed me that night, I couldn't even walk for weeks because he broke my ankle and I still have the scars of my legs from his belt buckle. It never got that bad again--until earlier today-- but that’s why I never left, as long as I was underage he’d make me come back.” Josh could feel hot tears rolling down his face, as Tyler spoke finally explaining why he had always stayed in that house and the older boy hugged Tyler closer to him in attempt to reassure him that Josh was there and was never fucking leaving. 

“Tyler I... you don’t need to justify yourself to me.” Josh said, overwhelmed with emotions ranging from fury at Tyler’s parents to admiration for just how strong Tyler truly was. 

“I wanted to tell you this,” Tyler said, his forehead pressing up against Josh’s own as he spoke and Josh realized he had begun crying, “because my birthday is tomorrow, I’ll be 18.” Again Josh heard what Tyler was really saying and he grinned, as the younger boy moved forwards to again press his lips against Josh’s. 

“You said you wanted to go to L.A..” Josh asked through kisses, dragging his hands up the thread into Tyler’s shirt, soft hair in order to turn his head so he could kiss Tyler deeper. Tyler laughed at Josh’s words but nodded profusely as he continued to kiss him, tongue darting forward to taste the residual coffee on Josh’s lips and hands gripping the tattoo covered arms that were wrapped so nicely around his waist. “Then let’s fucking go, we’ll go together Ty we’ll do everything together.” 

“Okay, okay okay okay.” Tyler said, his lips salty and burning at how Josh kissed him, grinning into Josh’s mouth as he repeated ‘okay’ over and over again. 

As they sat there, probably quite the sight to any cars that speed past them Tyler realized that, despite the fact his back was still aching and that he would probably have bruised fingerprints on the back of his neck tomorrow, he’d never been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> le fin, épilogue will be out soon. 
> 
> thanks for sticking with this story for so long, more joshler stuff coming out soon ;) as always, stay alive frens.


End file.
